For those of you who dont know, let me explain what a railing is supposed to do. Railings are designed to keep children, the elderly, and the unaware from unintentionally popping over an edge to a space below. Its not typically the space below that is undesirable, but rather the experience of unexpectedly going there, often quite quickly.
Everyone got their own separate presents, for sure, and I got mine. We’re still bearing in mind that every present really is a gift inside a gift, right? Once everybody opened their stuff, they gave me the wrapping! Hey, it’s only like 10% of what makes the gift great, but it’s by far the best 10%. I got pretty crinkle paper, I got sparkle ribbon, I got sticky name tags for my hands and hair, I got teething bows, and by gum I got holiday joy.
Shirts, toys, stuffed animals and blocks, yeah, yeah, whatever. I got all the wrapping paper. Did you hear me? Look at all this. How delightful! Maybe these people are buttering me up for favorable write-ups in the paper, I don’t know. Maybe they expect really awesome gifts in return. I prefer to think it’s because I’ve been really good all year, or my whole life, whichever is longer.
To all those who’ve made this possible I thank you. You’ve been very special to me my whole life and today is no exception. Thanks for our friendship, thanks for the gifts, and thank you so, so much for the paper.