While the existence of the tummy has long been suspected, it had not been completely confirmed until late last week. Spectators gathered around yesterday to learn of this wonderful new mid-sectional discovery.
The tummy is a roundish, pasty place directly below the chest, yet above the belt line. Based on shape and color, it is likely one of those abdominal snowman things I’ve heard about. It is readily discovered hiding above the zipper of pants or shorts, often buried beneath a shirt, sweater or coveralls.
Among its other amazing characteristics includes the funny noise it makes when I slap it and the gurlgly rumbles it periodically emits, seemingly without provocation. Serioulsy though, it’s like a built-in human drum! How can you go wrong with that?
At left, here, you can see me pointing out my freshly uncovered tummy to those gathered around. It is important to quickly document and have your findings verified before someone tries to steal your idea, or in my case before my tummy got too cold.
As you can also see in the photo at left, if you are unhappy with the shape of your tummy, you can suck it in real hard and make it look all svelt and atheletic. That’s right, count them baby ribs, baby.
A suggestion was made to me that all people have tummies and that this is nothing new, but I wasn’t born yesterday. If these things are as old as time, wouldn’t I have heard of it before? You people can’t trick me so easily.
I have no idea why I’m making this face or what it means. I think this is a standard facial expression of discovery. At least, I’m hoping it’s not permanent.
While it remains to be seen as to whether or not all persons have tummies, my preliminary research says that they do. After spending a few minutes exploring and explaining my own to attendees, I checked under each of their shirts only to find that each of them indeed had tummies as well. I tested them by slapping them as well, and it brought me much joy.