It’s that time of year again, or so I’m led prominently to suspect by all the inordinately peculiar goings-on about my home, neighborhood and world at large. It’s the time of year when savvy kids don clever getups to beg sharp uppers, quick stimulants and smart Smarties alike. It’s All Hollows Eve.
I can’t speak for the motivations of my parents but as a prodigiously prominent progeny I know the score and I’m ready to cash in my chips for chocolates. It’s a straightforward equation, wear a costume and get free candy.* Do I need to spell it out any more plainly?
So forget a moment about my inner child. He and I get along just fine, we’re really more like peers than some unthinkable esoteric philosophical debateer. Sometimes he’s in charge, sometimes it’s me, it doesn’t matter, we’re both on the same page.
And today that page is a catalog of sweetest, most intoxicating candy.
So with my inner child overlooked for the moment, let’s talk about getting in touch with my outer animal… I’m a dog! I’ve been a cheetah and a skunk before, even a chicken-duck, but this dog business is the cat’s meow. Just look at me, I can even bark and mess the carpet and all in the explainable guise of a desire for candy.
Patrick’s outer animal is a white tiger with a tinge of color, likely Hispanic as it’s true to his heritage. Dominic is another dog, so we’re collectively what I think they call “dogs of a feather” but I’m not 100% sure how that whole simile-metaphor thing works.
Our outer animals are out in the open and we’re in touch with the needs that can only be met by uncaging them.
So now I’ll bid you good day as we must now do our stretches** and make all the other necessary preparations for what’s sure to be our long, long night of skittering door-to-door in rampant intimidation in sweet meat beggary.
* Technically all candy is free to me since I don’t actually have a job, income, or much of any money of my own to speak of, but on this day it’s free and plentiful. Such days make me glad to be lactose intolerant rather than diabetic.
** Stretches are imperative before any rigorous undertaking, such as trick-or-treating is done. If your bag isn’t properly stretched it won’t hold enough of the good stuff, specifically candy.