My Sammich has a first name, it’s O.S.C.A.R. My sammich likewise has a second name, it’s M.A.Y.E.R. Introductions aside, where in there do you see a mandate for any kind of bread?
I’m not sure if the happy, mad scientists at Oscar Mayer intended this, but here’s my deepest and sincerest thanks to them, I’ve discovered their new and wonderful kind of sammich; one of the bread-free variety.
As of writing this, the photos have not yet been taken, so I hope you can, no less, see my great vision. Do you know the balogna-n-cheese* sammich? The one with Miracle Whip and the fairest of bleached bread? Imagine this very one, if you can, but without all that silly bread nonsense getting in the way.
This is what they have discovered, but I have discovered a use for. I peel the port and starboard from my Wonder, then abscond with just the bologna and cheese. Ain’t it great? It’s so crazy it just might work.
If you wanna see the glory of what I’m explaining, just give up on your bread, regardless of quality. Oscar Mayer made the bread-free bologna, now it’s up to you to experience and enjoy it. Can’t you just thusly pay it it’s due tribute? Can’t you?
Take a slappy of bologna in you right hand and a processed schtook of cheese in your left. Forget the bread, it’s little more than an auxiliary distraction (on its best day). You don’t need it. Just take the cheese and the bologna and gobble it right on up or right on down, as you prefer. That’s all of where it’s at, don’t you get it? Can’t you see it’s flawlessly simple beauty?
* I’m lactose intolerant, that’s right, I won’t put up with it and neither will my otherwise robust constitution. This slice is actually rice cheese.