Global Warming Theory Defeated by Poor Naming Policy

I’m no scientist of atmospheric or any other sort of ilk, but I do know what I see and experience myself, as well as what I hear and research on my own. This whole “Global Warming” theory, I’m certain, is a total myth. “Climate Change”, on the other hand, appears as frighteningly real as it does unpredictably uncertain.

On the front steps, enjoying our third snowstorm in fewer than two-weeks, somehow and strangely so at that.
On the front steps, enjoying our third snowstorm in fewer than two-weeks, somehow and strangely so at that.

Those Global-Warmingistas have done themselves a disservice by not playing the pseudo-name game the way their opponents have. It is global warming, at least in general degrees here and there, but we really live in a precarious balance, so it’s something bigger than that; it’s climate change.

Check this out, two years ago, many of the ski resorts in my state didn’t get to open up because there was never enough snow to even open up in the first place. That’s well and good if you’re a long-haul trucker traversing the passes week to week, but nearly bankruptable if you’re involved in the snow tourism industry. I’ve never been either of these things so I was more or less silent on the subject.

Check this out too, the year before last there were an unprecedented number of hurricanes to slam across America to the fiscal loss of billions and the mortal loss of thousands, not to mention the cases where police shot refugees, refugees had to pee in buckets, and the additional billions were squandered in poorly conceived thanky-kindly plain-old money gift cards to those who may or may not have actually suffered in the wake.

But then you’ve got the following hurricane season which yielded not a single serious hurricane to come ashore. That’s a saving grace, and very likely the result of prayer, but a swing from “worst ever” to “mildest ever” in fewer than a handful of months is quite curious indeed, even to a toddler like me.

Then came this snowy season for us, and we’ve seen three city-closing snowstorms in fewer than 2-weeks time, and that’s a comfy enough turnaround from the previous season, I guess, but it’s terribly curious when you consider that we’d already had record days of rainfall on record and we have never been a city known for noticeable traces of snowfall.

This isn’t merely about “global warming” or, as the conservative joker-clown Dennis Miller says, making his “Los Angeles home feel more like his Peoria home,” but about shifts in winds and trends bigger than me, more temperate than Tempe, and more super even than Dennis Miller’s superego.

climate-change2Left – As much fun as it is to hang out in the grand out-of-doors that is our stoop, we played as best we could whilst bundled up to enjoy the uncommon, unprecedented snowstorm.

Call me infantile if you like, but these are very serious concerns. More precisely, if you wish to call me infantile, recognize that I’m a pre-Kindergarten super-toddler, and not an infant. Right there you’d think I’d get an ounce of credibility, but I’m outside the mainstream members of the media on account of not being wholly owned by somebody with a fossil fuel interest, so I must surely be insane and quickly forgotten.

New York went from 72° in December, to snowing less than two weeks later. That isn’t anomalous, that’s outright terrifying.

I could say that you should be up in arms because ours is a President of unprecedented energy accommodation or because we’ve got an administration that says there’s no sound science to climate change, but for me it’s all about the fact that I have to dress in layer upon layer on a daily basis, prepared for all weather with everything from sunscreen to an umbrella as my safeguard.

And really, isn’t that just crazy?

Yes, yes it is.

We’ve already burnt a giga-jillion barrels of fuel, and we can no longer ignore that this is warming our world in ways that can do nothing less than adjust our winds, currents, and habitats like nothing else in the history of our dear Mother Earth. You can point out that the world routinely goes through patterns of warming and cooling but you can’t tell me that anything happened this quickly or obviously. Call it what you like, but let’s make a change, even if just for the children.

And never you mind for a minute that bears are unaware that they should be hibernating and that the Swiss Alps have barely enough snow to open for business. Come on, wild bears and Germans on holiday are secondary to the facts, but what if the facts are that billions of homes burn fuel to heat their homes and drive cars to go to their heavily air conditioned offices? I’m being cynical there, so don’t take me too seriously… unless, of course, you think I’m actually being satirical in my ironic expressions, but I’m much too young for that sort of stuff.

Sure, I’m a member of those “the children” group of whom I so freely speak of myself, but don’t take that as me just looking out for myself, even though I do have more years on this earth than the money magnates. Consider instead that maybe I’m cute enough, even if just barely cute enough, that I’m worth saving this earth for.

The tipping point has only been reached in these past ten years or so, but to pretend it doesn’t exist at all is just about crazy. If it’s all about money, consider that sweeping changes will all trickle the costs down to the bottom-most consumers. If that’s not enough, consider that tens of trillions in losses will be realized as entire farming regions will be reaped to barren. Consider that the richest, low-lying cities like Miami and the majority of Holland will be left undersea.

If it’s dollars and cents, let this be your wakeup call to go sprout some sense to spare your dollars. If you can’t get serious about the problems we’re collectively creating, and I don’t exclude my own family from it, you’d better start selling off your coastal company stocks, because without a radical change today, those properties will go the way of Atlantis in order short enough that I may get to tour them as undersea attractions while I’m still a young child.

And with all that, my dear friends, I bid you a good night(mare).

Above - Although it is indeed quite fun, what it is more so is "curious"... the winter isn't over by any means, yet we're playing in this, our third snowfall of the season, which isn't just surprising, it's historically unprecedented and frankly a bit concerning.
Above – Although it is indeed quite fun, what it is more so is “curious”… the winter isn’t over by any means, yet we’re playing in this, our third snowfall of the season, which isn’t just surprising, it’s historically unprecedented and frankly a bit concerning.


Halloween Long Gone, Never Forgotten

With Halloween now little more than a fond and distant memory of my ever-fading remembrance, I still think back often and look back fondly on this past Halloween, and even reflect on other Halloweens past. Halloween is so much fun for us kids that it deserves remembering, so I’ll take this opportunity to wrap all my past Halloweens into a single summary for your love, joy and appreciation.

Though a mixed bag of a costume for sure, this easily sums up the fun kids have at Halloween.
Though a mixed bag of a costume for sure, this easily sums up the fun kids have at Halloween.

Halloween is great because it’s a time for costumes and disguises as numerous as people who wear them, but also because there are all sorts of fun events to take part in. The costumes can be just about anything, and often are, but there’s oh so much more to it than that.

costume-footer-xLeft – This was the image that was supposed to be used to indicate a not-yet-active link to a Perplexing Times article that had not yet been released. Sadly, due to all kinds of bureaucratic red tape, we didn’t put all the footer links pointing from one Special Costume Report to the next in time for this wonderful graphic to apply. Still, you have to admit, if we had used it, it would have been pretty cool and perfectly painted the “coming soon” picture we’d have liked to have displayed, had we had the presence of mind to fill out those proper forms in necessary triplicate to get those graphical links active in time for it to have applied.

In terms of events and attractions, there are all kinds of mazes, rides, houses of haunting, and special events at an assortment of zoos and aquaria, not to mention the crowning event of tricking and/or treating, and all the candy that comes along with it.

In this out-of season special report, I won’t try to give you anything you haven’t already had, but I will give it to you in bite-sized bits you can understand, with tiny pictures, headlines and introductory paragraphs to whet your appetite for a bit more. I’m not going to be jerky about it by forcing links you click to open in new windows, I know my staff hates that, so if you want to see multiple articles about it, you should be able to hold the CTRL key while you click, to yourself open it up in a new browser tab or window.

As years go on, we’ll surely do more and more of these wonderful Halloween articles, and I’m sure we’ll come back in and add these to this article, or create a new one to sum them all up accordingly. And while we’re at it, we’ll create summary articles for all the important holidays this year as soon as we have enough articles for each to earn their own pages.