Our staff runs an exceptionally tight ship, and our ship has yet to sink, despite our forever full-steam-ahead status, and we don’t even lookout for icebergs or other such ship-sinkers. I’ve made the best of it, but my best way of it has been hiding inside a lampshade, which I’m sure is a good way of doing it since I saw people hiding in an old black & white film, and it worked great there.
But as sure as I’m out of the loop, I’m out of sight, and if you can see me anywhere in these pictures, I’m not doing my job right. I mean, I’m not doing my job right, and you know it because I’m hiding, but I think I’m better at hiding inside a lampshade than I am at writing.
Given the choice between being a writer and being a lamp, you gotta know I’d pick the lamp. Can’t help myself sometimes, I love lamp like a 40-year-old virgin… that’s not me being obscene, and you’d know that if you saw the movie, which you probably did but, there you go.
Also, if you really want to get sticky about me being a lamp instead of a writer, let’s talk about the fact that I’m actually making my absence known in a headline story. That’s not too smart on my part, but then again, I routinely choke a bit on my own dinner. I never said I was the smartest shovel in the socket, but I don’t have to be since I know I’m the most charming in the office.
In conclusion, I love lamp.