Tri-Brother Competition Heats Up

I’m competative, nary there be a doubt about nor about* it. This Dominic fellow has taken my competition from a two-ex level up to an unprecidented three-ex level. Now I’m neither oldest nor yougest, yet I gotta make my voice heard among the multi-kid din.

This may have been combined from 2 pictures, it`s just so hard to squeeze us all in.
This may have been combined from 2 pictures, it`s just so hard to squeeze us all in.

I’ve got the older brother (bro Patrick) who’s constantly leading in speech skills and stick figure interpretation. I can’t keep up with his scribbling in notebooks of clues of the Blue’s fashion. He makes hideously ugly Play-Doh dudes and the best I can do is eat the Play-Doh. Why not, though hardly fortified with vitamins and minerals it is indeed non toxic.

Then you got the junior brother (mini-man Dominic) who’s currently killin’ ‘em in the polls for cuteness (though in his bald wiggling I cannot understand how). People — specifically chicks — dig the dudes young, so barring an age regression I really can’t compete with him.

So as a middle (and typically “lost”) child, how am I supposed to compete with this bweeznass? Should I take up skateboarding, 3-point chucking or Evel Kneiveling? I could, but it’s not my thing.

Against my wishing I’m going to step up my cuting, you know, like the hugs, the kisses, and “with stuff” smiling.** I don’t know what’d further to be done and busy stuff.

I’m going to keep up the cuting. I’ll keep up the ante up-stepping and I’m gonna further over, over bring my game. If your a brother of mine (of whom I have many) be on your guard to the max. If you’re an outsider, be on the lookout for outrageous me-maximizing.

No matter. I have to go. It’s time for the B-man to refine his game. I’ve got all sorts of reinventing to do. Brothers beware… did I say that already? Doesn’t matter, I’m ready to impress.

Cool? (I’m still the favorite, right?)

* “About” bespake for our Quebequa readers.
**If I make killer photo ops with stuffed animals, pets, or the elderly, wouldn’t that help?

This also may have been composited together from other shots. Same two, now that I get a good look at it.
This also may have been composited together from other shots. Same two, now that I get a good look at it.

Dog’s Days Day Spa Rejuvenates

Dog has been this mini-man’s best friend since he was first adopted in China seventeen months ago. And, in those ten dog-years of faithful companionship, he’s never even been to the doctor and he hasn’t had a single day off. When I heard we’d sponsored a trip to the day spa I was naturally happy for him.

Here I give him one of my trademark squee-massages.
Here I give him one of my trademark squee-massages.

I was happy for him, but also lonely, healous, and apprehensive. Still, he needed that rest more than I needed him.

Why’s he so loyal and thusly so deserving?

 

  • We get sick but he’s never had a temperature.
  • He’s only gone to the doctor to keep me company.
  • Never had fleas, flus or bugs of any kind, yet he’s never even stopped to get shots.
  • Dog can go a month between baths without that typical “dog smell.”
  • The only mess he makes are ones I make and blame on him, and he doesn’t even say I’m lying.
  • Freely gives hugs and never asks for anything back
  • Keeps me company when I need it, doesn’t pester me when I don’t (but kinda stalks me, because he’s always nearby)And don’t think it’s a fat camp he’s off to, ’cause this guy’s been wasting away by the month. He never begs table scraps and only eats after I’m asleep, presumably by sneaking out to raid the cupboards. If anything, he’s too skinny.

    In all this time he’s never gone to the gym or had any massage beyond my squeezing him, which I routinely do with ample love and zero expertise. The only maintenance he’s had is some stitches to patch a problem with an ear, and Dr. MissLissa didn’t even charge a co-pay.

    You see, like I told you, he’s been a very loyal dog to me.

    Every dog truly does have his day, and today was just that day for mine. He’s back now and looking rejuvenated, revitalized and otherwise like a million smackaroos. His floppy ear was fixed, the open sore on his head was patched up, and he’s been fed a heaping helping of stuffing and, I’ve got to say, he wears it well. Not good as new, but better. So youthful I’m afraid I need to check his ID.

    His makeover was extreme but no moreso than his (and my) satisfaction of it’s outcome. He came back as pudgy as the Michelin Man and the parents-that-be were afraid I’d respond poorly. Not the case at all, I love it as much as I’ve always loved him. My reaction was plain, simple, and succinct, “Cooool!”*

    Dog’s back and life is back to normal. Dog is looking good and feeling even better and so, by proxy, so am I. Good for you, Dog, you deserve it! Let’s go break in your new physique with a 2-hour nap. It’s hot and I’m tired.

    And thank you MissLissa, for your seamstressing generosity. Dog would thank you if his mouth could open and I would thank you if I wasn’t so stubborn.

ABOVE - Some things require no caption, but anyhow, this is a before and after shot of Dog. Looking pretty good, huh?
ABOVE – Some things require no caption, but anyhow, this is a before and after shot of Dog. Looking pretty good, huh?

Least Comfy Sleeping Position Discovered

My earthly experience is limited but one thing I know super good is sleeping. A recent experiment proved to me once, if not for all, the single least comfortable sleeping position ever.
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I was busy exploring the spinny, rattly toys about my daybed (that’s what I call it. Though it isn’t really a daybed per se, it’s what I sleep in during the day.) I smacked toys with my hands and (of course) with my feet when a case of the sleepies snuck up on me with predictable speed and fury. Before I could even adjust myself I was out.

What I know now, but didn’t then, was that I had discovered what I’m told was to be the first of many uncomfy sleeping positions that are sure to dot my lifeline. A single leg rakishly pointing to the heavens was to be my foe.

When I awoke I found that my leg had hit snooze and was still fast asleep. Not only that but my whole body alignment and chi were way out of whack. More than that I found that the photographer who so capably snapped a couple good shots of it, hadn’t bothered to reposition me. I guess he hadn’t read this article I hadn’t written yet.

Given the choice, choose to sleep in a 2-dimensional position, rather than one extending out in all directions. The figure-X is very nice according to dad, the figure-Jack isn’t so much. That’s according to me, and I’m where you get your news.

Yet another shot of my slumbery that made me so, how you say, uncomfortable.
Yet another shot of my slumbery that made me so, how you say, uncomfortable.

 

Always here to answer the questions asked that have no answers to inquire of… or, no wait, um… Never mind, I reviewed the two leading brands of formula.

Side by side they taste pretty comparable, but I know deep down there is probably a difference. Beats me man.
Side by side they taste pretty comparable, but I know deep down there is probably a difference. Beats me man.

Enfamil is rich, creamy, satisfying, not too foamy, and more or less just like mom used to make.

Similac sent us a free sample, but we’d already started on Enfamil, so I’ve never really tried it. The can looks pretty tasty, I did chew on the cap for a bit with glee. I think the parents gave it to a co-worker, not sure.

In conclusion:

Enfamil = Good.
Similac = Huh?

After no fewer than two dozen inquiries (as it seems search engines just LOVE this page) I feel a need to address an important question. Did we take sponsorship dollars from Enfamil or Similac to publish this page? Nope, quite the opposite.

As it would turn out, after this page outranked both Enfamil and Similac for their respective ranking in the age-old “Enfamil vs. Similac” debate, Dominic entered this great green world thirsty for either one. Considering capitalizing on this good fortune to the tune of allowing a billionaire giant to sponsor us; we contacted them for a nickel or two.

Neither Enfamil nor Similac would sponsor us to the tune of even a single bottle of their debatably hormone-riddled formula. We were forced to look further for that formula friendly sponsorship with the goodly folks at Nestle, proprietors of Good Start, the only food for pre-food babies made by a food company. They likewise had no interest in kicking us so much as a coupon.

So when I say (even in retrospect) that my assessment is “huh?” I mean it. There’s no clear favorite, and believe me pal, we’ve done all the research and asked every last scrap of those baby supplying yokels to endorse us as we’d endorse them, but I guess you can’t put a price on publicity like this , at least none of these formula makerswould.


Editor’s Note:

This article was updated to reflect Dominic’s desire to assess for himself the two leading formulas. The resulting article additions are the result of those interviews and inquiries.