Okay this is wierd. I’m no mechanic or anything but when I heard that this Subaru couldn’t do more than about 10 mph I had to have a look under the hood. What I found was alarming, the darn thing had only bicycle pedals chained into the tranny and no motor.
I should point out that we’re not in my shop since as a non-mechanic I lack any shop to speak of. Likewise, though, we weren’t in their garage either and they had to get it here on it’s own steam. Did I already mention it doesn’t have a motor and that it’s a Subaru?
These guys really need someone to look over their car. I’m told they drove three days over highway, sand dunes, mud, and even across the bay to come here. Seems like a lot of pedaling to me but what do I know — Wait, did they say “across the bay”? Weirder still!
I’ll leave it to the real mechanics at this point. I doubt they’ll need my help, I mean, any mechanic should be able to ascertain from even the most cursory glance that this thing is running (or failing to run perhaps) on no cylinders. I don’t know where they bought this or who’s been working on it lately but I sure hope they got a warranty on it. I’d hate to have to be the one to break the bad news to them if they have to cover the costs out-of-pocket, seems likely it’s a pretty major sort of repair to me.
As I’ve come to understand it the US Navy has been working for the past year in total secrecy to develop an aquatic trojan horse program to infiltrate foreign coasts with the greatest of sneakiness. Now, due to unforeseeable drawbacks and cutbacks it has sadly been abandoned.
It made perfect sense on paper. It’s man powered so it’s quiet and doesn’t emit any Electro-magnetic signals. Humans hide inside it and it looks like a perfect kinetic sculpture of a real live horse, horsy or see-horse if you will. (Not a seahorse, that’s something different, though maybe they should work on one of those instead.) It sounded too good to be true and, once in the water the paper it looked so good on got soggy and all that research and development went out the window.
Though water-faring it would seem as though for high sea-faring it would be quite deadly. Further it can only hold two solitary soldiers, both of whom would be pretty tuckered out upon arrival. Worse still is that they’re in plain sight all throughout their journey. I know, total bummer, huh?
The upside to it all is that the Navy is the loser to the tune of at least a couple billion but the winners are the spectators here who got to watch it lazily paddle by. Even an errant seal could tell something was special about it as he popped out of the water momentarily to bark at it. That’s not a photoshopped deal there people, it really happened and it was really wierd.
Don’t besmirch your government for failing to make new weapons. They have to try something new and us peace-mongers can pray nothing less than failure. I’d rather be the guy shaking and shrugging than the guy pedaling, wouldn’t you?