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More Perplexing Articles . . .

Head Weighs Like 500 Pounds
Posted Tuesday, July 13 @ 02:00:00 PDT by Brendan
Don't think I don't see all you proud people walking around with your gigantic melons held high. It bugs me like a plague of locusts because I'm proud too, but my pigeon-bobby noggin weighs more than the sun and the moon together.

Pedal-Powered Pace Car Slows Tempo to Standstill
Posted Monday, July 12 @ 02:00:00 PDT by Brendan
As a journalist more interested in having a good time than actually being useful to society I can recommend to would-be yay-sayers of my media encounters: beware; be very, very ware.

Block Party Examined Incognito
Posted Saturday, July 10 @ 02:00:00 PDT by Brendan
I've been a professional journalist now for almost three months. Unlike my elder brother, famed journalist Brendan Alexander, I prefer to see the news on a passive stander-by basis. Brendan likes to jump right in and get his cotton socks filthy, I'd rather hide out and watch in a fly-on-the-wall sort of way.

Reportress Reports on Reporter
Posted Friday, July 09 @ 02:00:00 PDT by Brendan
Lynnwood, WA, USA - Yesterday I set out to write an in-depth exposé on small plastic houses, possibly the future of temporary housing for all transients and poverty-level people under 3-feet of height, when the strangest thing happened.

Impersonation of 'Steve Clues' a Dead Ringer
Posted Thursday, July 08 @ 01:00:00 PDT by Brendan
We all should know where our skills lie and mine is journalism. This new guy Mr. Benjamin impressed me with his Kevin Spacey impression but his Steve Clues copy is really something else, a living dead ringer to be sure.

Adjacent Park Party Leads Promptly to Balloon Coveting
Posted Wednesday, July 07 @ 02:00:00 PDT by Brendan
Yesterday afternoon I attended a park with the humblest of Brendan-like intentions. That's right, I'm referring to myself in the third person, it's what I do when I feel most saucy. That's no matter, listen to what went wrong.

Woman Working to Help Me Earns Hearty Hug
Posted Tuesday, July 06 @ 01:00:00 PDT by Brendan
I was out playing the other day, as I often do, but this time was much different. The play obstacle course was uncommonly challenging and it further muddied by a myriad three to four-foot giants who worried only for their won (understandably) selfish joy, not mine... then she arrived.


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