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More Perplexing Articles . . .

Bunny Misplaces Eggs, Candy, Chocolate
Posted Monday, April 12 @ 01:00:00 PDT by Brendan
I'm familiar with all kinds of animals from cats to dogs to filthy panda bears. What I wasn't aware of was philanthropic rabbits with Alzheimers who forgetfully leave their most prized possessions lying about unprotected.

Fiddling With Blinds Forbidden, Fantastic
Posted Sunday, April 11 @ 02:00:00 PDT by Brendan
I'm sure you've never been forbidden from something and just wanted it that much more, but I sure have. That's me giving you all kinds of credit for being a bigger person than me which, statistically, you are.

Retraction: Man Not Ready for Bed
Posted Saturday, April 10 @ 01:00:00 PDT by Brendan
As a respected journalist in a world of ever-diminishing standards of professional integrity it is now my responsibility to amend and retract an earlier story reported erroneously.

Better Weather Kicks Off Porch-Camping Season
Posted Friday, April 09 @ 01:00:00 PDT by Brendan
If you're looking for something fun and fantastic to do this summery season I've got one more you can add to your list. Hiking is for pack mules, kiting is for aeronaughts, but porch-camping is for everyone.

Dinosaur Belly Full of Toys, Journalists
Posted Thursday, April 08 @ 22:00:00 PDT by Brendan
I ain't Jonah, my brother isn't Baron Munchausen and this surely ain't no whale. This is a dinosaur and he didn't eat us, we climbed in through the door along his starboard ribs. It's not about dinner, we're here to play.

Park Folk Respectively Hot, Creepy
Posted Wednesday, April 07 @ 10:00:00 PDT by Brendan
I'm sure you'll doubt me in saying this but, as part of my career as a child it's among my primary responsibilities to attend local parks. I hope you don't think I do it for my own pleasure. I mean it's no easy task; it's my job so I do it. I do it out of a sense of obligation to you good readers.

Baseball Cap Mechanics Baffling
Posted Tuesday, April 06 @ 03:00:00 PDT by Brendan
You have already decided to wear a baseball cap and you think your only concern is how to wear it. But then you put it on and realize it's not that easy.


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