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More Perplexing Articles . . .

Chubby Is In the Cheeks of the Beholder
Posted Friday, March 19 @ 05:00:00 PST by Brendan
It seems you can't turn a corner anymore without hearing something about how you need to be slim to be beautiful. Between the drug addicts gracing Cosmo and the mythical woman propagated by the Barbie franchise it's no wonder we're confused.

Requests Expedited Thanks to Speech
Posted Thursday, March 18 @ 13:00:00 PST by Brendan
Humans are creatures largely fueled by desire. That is clear to everyone I'm sure, though I suspect other animals are not so different... except the fur and fangs. Never mind that last part.

Despite Warning Child Plays with Phone, Calls China
Posted Wednesday, March 17 @ 05:00:00 PST by Brendan
Warnings had been made and restated but to no avail as earlier today an unbelieving child picked up a telephone and started dialing random numbers.

Suspicion of Following Confirmed by Independent Audit
Posted Tuesday, March 16 @ 04:00:00 PST by Brendan
Yesterday -- or a million years ago; I'm not sure which -- I reported that I thought I was being followed. Today, thanks to an independent photographer I hired to look into the matter, my suspicions have been confirmed.

I Suspect I'm Being Followed
Posted Monday, March 15 @ 03:00:00 PST by Brendan
Nobody look alarmed or act funny but, I think I'm being followed. It's not that I have any proof and I really can't say why I think it, but something tells me "they" are on to me.

You Call This a Quarterly Report?
Posted Sunday, March 14 @ 04:00:00 PST by Brendan
I wanted this on my desk by noon and it's 2:30 and this stack of rubbish is incomplete. The lesson here is: If you want something done right, do it yourself; cheap, send it to Mexico; and wrong, have my people do it.

Learning Curve Steepens, Omniscience In Sight
Posted Saturday, March 13 @ 03:00:00 PST by Brendan
Every day I'm getting smarter and smarterer. It's not my fault though, I'm not even trying very hard. It's like I'm some kind of knowledge camel endlessly drinking from the ocean of wisdom, except I'm not a camel and I don't need as much water.


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