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More Perplexing Articles . . .

All I Want For Christmas Is Some Publicity
Posted Thursday, December 18 @ 02:00:00 PST by Brendan
Man, this trek to fame is painfully slow. Every time I think I've got something good going and that all fame is about to break loose, something goes wrong and it all comes grinding inconveniently to a halt.

'War Hall' Portraits Oddly Unpatriotic
Posted Wednesday, December 17 @ 02:00:00 PST by Brendan
After some confusion about my national loyalty I commissioned an aspiring young artist to portray me in a more patriotic yet still truthful light. I expected the look of a Patton, MacArthur or even a McCain or Powell. What I got was totally odd.

Star Zero Pound is on the Case
Posted Tuesday, December 16 @ 04:00:00 PST by Brendan
There's a new hero in town. When crime rears its ugly head, do not fear for Star Zero Pound is here! He fights for justice with his super powers, clever disguise, and of course his incredible gadgets and charm.

75% Stricken by Infectious Epidemic
Posted Monday, December 15 @ 10:00:00 PST by Brendan
You may have heard that flu season has come early this year and with a savage sort of wrath unseen in years. Of course what the mainstream media fails to say is just how many years. I may not know that answer, but I can tell you firsthand just how yucky the whole experience is.

Railing Safety Nearly Laughable
Posted Sunday, December 14 @ 05:00:00 PST by Brendan
For those of you who don't know, let me explain what a railing is supposed to do. Railings are designed to keep children, the elderly, and the unaware from unintentionally popping over an edge to a space below. It's not typically the space below that is undesirable, but rather the experience of unexpectedly going there, often quite quickly.

All Work & No Pills Makes Brendan a Dull Boy
Posted Saturday, December 13 @ 02:00:00 PST by Brendan
Behind every story is another story and behind that story is a reporter, but what's behind the reporter? Is it money, power or a quest for prestige? The answer is yes, all these things and so much more.

Minimum Security Christmas Tree Brings Joy, Mischief
Posted Friday, December 12 @ 01:00:00 PST by Brendan
On or about November 28th of this year, a Christmas tree was spotted lurking conspicuously in the north end of the offices of Perplexing Times. When Officer B. Alexander moved in to investigate, the tree began a fight with the officer.


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