| Hatified Baby Dehats, Rehats Brother
Posted Wednesday, October 29 @ 02:00:00 PST by Brendan
I wake up chipper, which I'm told is a real asset since most people awaken all grouchy and stuff. I don't even require coffee to make any of my mornings throughout any given day chipper. Not even when I'm awoken and promptly hatified.
| Am I Not Speaking Clearly?
Posted Tuesday, October 28 @ 04:00:00 PST by Brendan
I asked you twice and I'll ask you again, this time please just answer me instead of staring blankly at me.
| What Gives with the Freaky Décor?
Posted Monday, October 27 @ 16:00:00 PST by Brendan
All month I've been seeing an absurd increase in the cardboard bats, inflatable skeletons and butchered pumpkin carci.* Can someone please explain this tacky madness to me?
| Simply Can't 'Walk Towards the Light'
Posted Saturday, October 25 @ 05:00:00 PDT by Brendan
I've heard so many references, both in comedy and drama, about not walking "towards the light," but I've also been told over and over not to goof around with the stereo buttons, and when I do it's always very rewarding.
| Ice Age Warning Issued
Posted Friday, October 24 @ 04:00:00 PDT by Brendan
Earlier today reliable sources reported in shallow depth a general notice of "Ice Age around 4:00pm." This is of course most shocking news that everyone needs to be aware of. So, naturally before warning any of you, I prepared for the worst myself.
| Miracle Growth Cream Hokey, Miraculous
Posted Thursday, October 23 @ 04:00:00 PDT by Brendan
Blast these slick door-to-door salesmen with their mesmerizing sales pitches. I love a good pitch as much as the next kid, but this smooth talking pitcher was simply hypnotically convincing.
| Meteorologism Tongue Twister, Mind Boggler
Posted Wednesday, October 22 @ 04:00:00 PDT by Brendan
Brendan Alexander, meteorologist* extraordinaire (in training) here, ready to bring you my world debut weather report. I'm here live on location outdoors.