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More Perplexing Articles . . .

Gerber Invents Food Not Requiring a Nipple
Posted Tuesday, July 15 @ 04:00:00 PDT by Brendan
Of all the crazy things I’ve seen in my life, this has to pretty much take the cake. My whole life I've been forced to "drink this" or "drink that," but now Gerber, one of the leaders in food technology has really outdone themselves.

Typing Mystery Unraveled
Posted Monday, July 14 @ 05:00:00 PDT by Brendan
By Brendan Alexander, investigative reporter
In answer to the perpetual question of how it is that I may run my own news site, allow me to share my findings on the matter of computer keyboards as they relate to data entry.

Review: Teething Jelly Makes Bwuh Mugga Phwuh
Posted Saturday, July 12 @ 04:00:00 PDT by Brendan
So I’m sitting there just minding my own business, experiencing a bit of discomfort in the gum region. My mom, who still lives at home by the way, decides to take matters into her own hands with this clever little ploy of hers… she grabs a tube of who-knows-what.

Additional Limbs Discovered
Posted Wednesday, July 09 @ 18:00:00 PDT by Brendan
I was delighted this morning to find that, in addition to the two appendages I’d already located and employed, there were at least one, though perhaps as many as five new appendages.

What The Heck Is All This Noise About?
Posted Wednesday, July 09 @ 18:00:00 PDT by Brendan
So just because today is July 4th, 2003, doesn’t mean you people are somehow entitled to wake me from my nap every five seconds with your popping and your booming. You’ve got your pretty lights and colors, your crackles and your ooh-aahery. But, people, hear me when I tell you that I must rest.

Review: Natural vs. Formula
Posted Wednesday, July 09 @ 17:00:00 PDT by Brendan
While both products are a common staple among eightlings, it seems further that there is a glaring lack of firsthand accounts of preference. Our research has indicated that this is largely due to the ongoing age discrimination suffered at the hand of 1/1th sized humans, but that is another matter for another time.


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