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More Perplexing Articles . . .

Municipal Cemetery Offers Wide Selection of Free Bouquets
Posted Friday, August 03 @ 02:00:00 PDT by Brendan
Fresh flowers are hard to come by, especially when you live in a warm climate, as we ephemerally do. These are that much harder to find when you add on the language barrier and my total unwillingness to pay any amount of money for them, but I've found a place that has a wide selection, always fresh, and unless I miss my guess, they're free.

Caribbean Could Benefit from Qualified Exterminator
Posted Thursday, August 02 @ 08:00:00 PDT by Brendan
I know that us beggars are of the sort that we shouldn't also beg to be "choosers," but sometimes the shoe fits, the meme matches and (in this case) the bugs just bite too hard. Pardon my begging booty a minute but, is it just me or could the whole island or Puerto Rico benefit significantly from the work of a qualified, competent exterminator?

Simpson's Movie Review, It's D'oh-Liteful!
Posted Wednesday, August 01 @ 06:00:00 PDT by Dominic
The Simpson's Movie had been hyped for years, expected for decades-ish and had expectations it couldn't possibly be expected to live up to. This year saw the face-first flop of the Aqua Teen Hunger Force film, which died of its own accord from a combination of factors as plain as the nose on my face, sometimes stolen by my prankster brother. The Simpson's isn't a perfect film and doesn't get a perfect ten rating but, all in all, it was a mighty fine film, so let me tell you why it beat the critics, beat box office expectations, and drove me giddy with glee.

Getting In Fan-Gear For Simpson's Movie
Posted Tuesday, July 31 @ 23:00:00 PDT by Brendan
We've been waiting impatiently for the release of The Simpson's Movie since easily a decade before even the oldest among us was born. We've watched the show faithfully and played aggressively with our cookout-ready Ned Flanders. Once the previews started heating up, we had to ratchet up our game at least in keeping with their increased budget.

Publication Schedule Increased 40% Until Further Notice
Posted Monday, July 30 @ 02:00:00 PDT by Dominic
As the juniormost staff member of Perplexing Times, I'm always allowed my fair say in the day-to-day (today?) operations of our newspaper. Now that I have an ounce of authority, I've exerted it to the chagrigret of my senior brother, because my first decree as a semi-authorized director of Perplexing Times is to increase our publication schedule from 5 articles per week up to 7 articles per week.

Lookout For Cabo Rojo Lookout Tree Fort
Posted Sunday, July 29 @ 03:00:00 PDT by Brendan
If you're driving south from Cabo Rojo to the southwest corner of Puerto Rico, also known as Cabo Rojo, which is a bit odd, be on the lookout for the tree fort to end all tree forts. I'm just sure that you, as you read this, are surely on the verge of driving this route, so I'm glad I can offer this great advice at such a timely juncture in your life. Hey man, it's what I do.

Kids Reach Agreement on Dad's Age He's 2-years Older
Posted Monday, July 23 @ 14:00:00 PDT by Brendan
I know it's a puzzle wrapped inside of a conundrum, locked within a mystery, bound inside a conundrum, boggled within a brainteaser, jailed within an enigma but, here it is: How old is my father? I'd like to say I know the answer right off the top of my head, especially since I get him a present for his birthday each year, but as crazy as it sounds, turns out we're pretty ignorant about his age, whatever it may be.


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