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More Perplexing Articles . . .

Buzz Lightyear Dutifully Guards Pizza
Posted Thursday, December 07 @ 02:00:00 PST by Dominic
According to a recent study conducted in my house, at least 20% to 33% of respondents indicated that Buzz Lightyear, a famed sentry of the Star Command, is the very best superhero that ever was or will be. With that in mind it should come as no surprise that he makes me happy when I am sad and goes that extra light year to even guard my pizza.

Civic Tuba Free, Impossibly Unplayable
Posted Wednesday, December 06 @ 02:00:00 PST by Brendan
Music is a big part of my life, though not so much in that I play it, know much of it or know much past the first thing about it. I do like to dance from time to time, and I do know it when I hear it, though, so I count myself "all about the music" even though I plainly am not.

MissLissa Takes on Greater Photo Role
Posted Tuesday, December 05 @ 02:00:00 PST by Brendan
We recently suffered a new kind of terrible-two, but this one was an unprecedented interruption in our publication schedule. We didn't mean to and we didn't want to, but we had two full weeks of apparent absence. It wasn't fun for us and I know it wasn't fun for you guys, but it's in the past, thanks in large part to that kooky MissLissa.

Wiggling Brother Invents New 'The Robot' Dance
Posted Monday, December 04 @ 01:00:00 PST by Brendan
My home has been the site of more innovation than I could ever be troubled to reconsider more than a time or two. It's been everything from the inception of curiosity to the creation of climbing, and that's to say nothing of the fact that me and my brothers invented Mama-Lady lactation, at least inasmuch as it pertains to our family.

NW Puppet Center Presents: Babar & Father Christmas
Posted Sunday, December 03 @ 01:00:00 PST by Brendan
As the school year winds on and the cold Christmas season heats up, it was time for us to check out the puppet center once again, and see what we could see to get us in the holiday spirit as only can be done by puppetry.

I Know My Name is Brendan
Posted Friday, December 01 @ 02:00:00 PST by Brendan
"Dear God, are you there, it's me," I've asked for so many years now. Sadly, until recently, I couldn't say who it was that was this "me" person, whether Margaret or otherwise, but now I've come to know better. When I pray to God, whether for impossible peace of world or improbably pieces of pie, I now know to tell God that it's me, Brendan.

Week-Plus Absence Blamed on Weak-Plus Sickness
Posted Thursday, November 30 @ 04:00:00 PST by Brendan
Noted local columnists, me and my brothers, have had gaggles of geeseseses of excuses for absences in the past, distant past, and there inbetwixtidly, but this month's excuse trumps them all like a combover most gorgeous. We were sick and so were all of our staffers.


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