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More Perplexing Articles . . .

Costume Special Part-1 Robin's Mask & Sword
Posted Thursday, September 14 @ 02:00:00 PDT by Brendan
If I have learned anything at all from the supermarkets of my world, it's that it's never too early to start thinking about the next big holiday, whatever that may be. Christmas usually starts sometime in July, and the upcoming Halloween holiday has been in the air for so long now I just can't deny it. Instead I choose to launch Part-1 in our ongoing Costume Special series.

Unemployment Diet Enfattens Unemployed
Posted Wednesday, September 13 @ 02:00:00 PDT by Brendan
In order to do our in-depth reporting for our special report on the dietary habits of the unemployed, we had to go undercover as unemployed persons ourselves. It wasn't easy, but honestly, it wasn't hard either. We stayed up late, slept in, didn't bother getting dressed, watched TV all day and ate a bunch of junk food.

Preschooler Exhibits 'Many Faces Of' to Potential Agents
Posted Tuesday, September 12 @ 10:00:00 PDT by Dominic
I know it's technically frowned upon to write articles about yourself and pretend that they are somehow legitimate news, but when it's something as newsworthy as the "many faces of" that I might present to an agent or talent scout, I will stake my journalistic reputation on the fact that this is truly newsworthy.

Reflecting on the Tragedy I Never Knew
Posted Monday, September 11 @ 10:00:00 PDT by Brendan
I am told that today is the fifth anniversary of the terrorist attacks against targets in New York and Washington, DC. This doesn't mean much to me, though it's all over the news, because as hard as I try I can't recall these or any other events from before my birth. But that doesn't mean I can't pay my respects.

World Verified as Shrinking, Heating Bi-Quarterly
Posted Thursday, September 07 @ 02:00:00 PDT by Dominic
I'm no fan of trends. In fact I don't believe in them. I think they're no more than the product of opportunistic statisticians, a religion I can't ascribe to whether orthodox or reformed. Sometimes a trend becomes so obvious though that there's nothing I can do but observe it and such is the case in my routine walk to the store.

Biggest Fan a Breeze, Bargain, Under 20-Bucks
Posted Wednesday, September 06 @ 02:00:00 PDT by Brendan
As the summer winks out to nothing at all, no heat and no long days, it's time again for us to pay tribute to our biggest fans, specifically a 19" oscillating one we got at Walgreens. It's our biggest fan to date, and at under twenty bucks you can hardly go wrong. Still a little bit wrong you can go, but not entirely.

Reporter Proves Good Luck for Slumping MLB Team
Posted Tuesday, September 05 @ 02:00:00 PDT by Dominic
Following the Seattle Mariners unofficial ban of Perplexing Times, we issued our own unofficial ban of their games. It wasn't so much a ban as a boycott, and it wasn't so much affected by their ban of us as it was their generally poor play, but the team needed something for good luck and I'm not one to resist when there's a need as great as this.


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