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More Perplexing Articles . . .

Journalist Infiltrates Group of Known Killers
Posted Monday, August 14 @ 04:00:00 PDT by Brendan
As a serious* journalist I'm always looking for the next big story (or brightly colored collectible) to break. I had the unique opportunity recently to find a meeting of folks so dangerous, they actually use "killer" right in their collective name. I donned a disguise so I'd fit right in, got to the edge of the meeting and from there I learned things so shocking I couldn't not report them.

Nose Picking Decried as Uncouth, No-No
Posted Friday, August 11 @ 02:00:00 PDT by Dominic
We all have our nervous habits, with the exception of me. I don't really get nervous though, if I did, I guess my nervous habit would be laughter. It's really the best medicine to combat the dullness of the everyday. What I do have is a non-nervous habit, also known as a "habit," and it's getting me in all kinds of trouble I just don't understand.

Study Finds Screaming Less-than-Charming Despite Prevalence
Posted Thursday, August 10 @ 02:00:00 PDT by Brendan
I've always been a savvy communicator. When I was a young boy I always knew how to outstretch my hands to get what I wanted. As I got older and figured out that talking could help me out even more, I did that. But now that I'm an age-old and wise man, I know that screaming is the very best method of getting my way.

Proclamation Breaks Parents' Hearts
Posted Wednesday, August 09 @ 05:00:00 PDT by Brendan
Last week at a birthday party, Patrick was put in charge of eating some cake. He chose a place to sit, but panicked when he saw a ladybug on the table. He has many phobias and this is one of them. When the grown-ups tried to comfort and assure him, he punched himself in the head and uttered what grownups on hand described as "the most heartbreaking thing" they had ever witnessed.

Today's Kids Unimpressed by Piñata Contents
Posted Tuesday, August 08 @ 06:00:00 PDT by Brendan
Are you now or have you ever been a child? If you can answer "yes" to this question you likely know all about the piñata, how it's traditionally beaten and what is expected to fall out once it's busted to bits. If you answer "no" you may wish to consider hypnosis to determine your origins. It's just a thought.

Tic-Tac-Face Game Remarkably Confusing, Dull
Posted Monday, August 07 @ 02:00:00 PDT by Dominic
Whether it's Candyland™ or the Spiderman™ matching ones, I love games. Board games, puzzles and brainteasers alike are all fair games for me and I love them all with nearly equal vigor, so long as I'm not bound by any of their many complicated "rules," and I use the word "rules" only with quotes because I'm as yet incapable of making recognizable quotation fingers.

Monkey Brother Climbs Way to Trouble
Posted Friday, August 04 @ 01:00:00 PDT by Brendan
Well over a year ago I unraveled the magical mystery of scaling our household furniture. The security staff quickly reshuffled shelf heights to discourage me and, just last month, those same fun-busting staff added additional safety measures to deter me from climbing. We had a pretty good system, but monkey brother had to go and wreck it for all of us with his latest infraction, and he got his due.


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