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More Perplexing Articles . . .

Singular Journalist Allegedly Now ďTwoĒ
Posted Sunday, June 18 @ 02:00:00 PDT by Brendan
We knew something was special about the day when we first got up, but we didnít know what it was. Technically the landmark date had already passed in the middle of the week, but who could be sure of it without a big festival to mark it properly. It was a birthday party, and it wasnít mine. Apparently one of my staff writers just turned two years of age.

Road Project Successful Due to Moral Support
Posted Saturday, June 17 @ 03:00:00 PDT by Brendan
I donít know whose idea it was, but somebody came up with a real humdinger of a genius in the decision to repave the road in front of our house. It wasnít easy and Iím sure it wasnít cheap, but thanks to neighbors like us giving it the old pre-college-try, we all pitched in and made it happen, though most of us indirectly.

Investigative Journalists Proves ďMy NoseĒ Theory
Posted Friday, June 16 @ 02:00:00 PDT by Dominic
Iíve been working as an investigative journalist now for well over 2-years, but when it comes to difficult assignments such as proving the existence, location and label for my own nose, Iíve had an uphill battle, and one I hope to settle today once and for all.

Makeshift Goggles Outperform Most Expensive Toys
Posted Thursday, June 15 @ 04:00:00 PDT by Brendan
Thanks in part to the generosity of our aunts and grandfolk, we have a wealth of expensive toys in keeping with all but the richest of our peers. Iíve heard it before and I believe it as much now as ever; it really is the little things in life that make it all worthwhile.

Automated Poster Offers Hours of Entertainment
Posted Wednesday, June 14 @ 07:00:00 PDT by Brendan
I like to think, as a citizen of the better parts of the world, that Iíve already seen it all. I mean, look at the facts. Iíve traveled to the far eastern hemisphere and back, seen zoos in more cities than I can count, and Iím three and-a-half years old. I was wrong though, because I hadnít seen it all, and I know that now because Iíve seen the rolling ad poster, and it is ďitĒ, as far as Iím concerned.

Carney Games a Poor Investment
Posted Tuesday, June 13 @ 08:00:00 PDT by Brendan
Our office is centrally located just north of a major US city in an urban neighborhood that is ideally situated for shopping, commerce and as fate would have it, traveling carnivals that underpromise as much as they fail to deliver.

Terrible-Twos Delayed, Strike with Vengeance
Posted Monday, June 12 @ 12:00:00 PDT by Brendan
Iíve been a mild-mannered reporter by day for most of my life, and even though I once reported that I had turned Ďterribly twoí I never really had. Did I skip this rebellious phase entirely or just put it off a bit? Well the jury has adjourned, and my horribly terrible twos are due, and the parents have to pay it off with years of interest to boot.


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