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More Perplexing Articles . . .

Despite Weapons Ban, More Guns in Kids’ Hands
Posted Monday, February 13 @ 02:00:00 PST by Brendan
Our local governing council, the so-called “parents de la casa” has always maintained a strict policy of gun control within the house. No, that doesn’t mean use two hands, it means that we’re not allowed to have guns, not even toy guns, and neither are our toys allowed to bear arms either. Though it may sound unfair, what’s recently stricken the parents as yet more unfair is that, despite the undebatable rule, more and more guns are falling into our hands.

Candy Good, Meats and Fats Somehow Better
Posted Sunday, February 12 @ 01:00:00 PST by Brendan
I'm a kid, I can admit it, both at heart and in body (which I'm told includes my heart). And, as such, I just love the candy. But I'm not your usual kid. It's very likely you've already noticed it. For one thing I run a daily newspaper, but beyond that, though I love the candy, I don't love it best. Given my choice, which I often am, I choose the meats and fatty foods like milk and cheese before the candy pretty much every time.

WaMu Ups Convenience Ante w/ In-Home Branches
Posted Saturday, February 11 @ 04:00:00 PST by Brendan
I’ve always been a fan of banking and not just because I bank, I don’t. I leave such menial, daily tasks to those of attention spans longer than a half minute. No, I like the conveniences of convenient banking because it insures our rent check makes it on time and because I hate sitting in the car with one parent, bored out of my skull, while the other parent runs in to do that whole “banking” thing. WaMu has heard my cry, and today opened a new branch, one that’s painfully obviously hunkered down in my own living room.

Love Series of Identical, Mysteriously Puzzling Presents
Posted Monday, February 06 @ 03:00:00 PST by Brendan
I know it’s been a long time since my birthday, well over a month in all honesty, but we’re a bit short on material and these pictures spell out something fantastic in my development. When presented with a dozen presents of identical wrapping and identical odd shapes, I was every bit as curious about the next one as the last… What could this next present be?

Kiddy Gate Proven No Match for Prehensile Monkey Toes
Posted Sunday, February 05 @ 03:00:00 PST by Dominic
So, okay, I know I’m more advanced than my predecessoral brothers in a bunch of ways, but the most frustrating way of all of them, as it seems at least to my parental guardian-folk, is my ability to climb like a monkey, which is usually followed by Curious George style mischief as well.

Yeah, Baby, SatireSearch Better Recognize!
Posted Saturday, February 04 @ 06:00:00 PST by Brendan
I’ve had my differences with SatireSearch, but when they stopped listing our headlines amongst their live, daily feed of the best funny stuff across the net I was a bit concerned. We held an executive meeting and it was determined that we should write to them asking why we were dropped or if it was a mistake, but we didn’t. And it paid off big time, baby.

Half Brother Befuddled by Sib’s Differing Surname
Posted Friday, February 03 @ 02:00:00 PST by Brendan
What a strange experience for me. I don't know my last name and I'm not expected to. Neither is Patrick expected to know his last name, but somehow he does and that's both puzzling and really cool; but how does he, why does he, and what on earth makes this half-brother of mine think we share this surname?


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