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More Perplexing Articles . . .

Home Stereo Vandalism Rocks, Rolls, Blows Hootie Fish
Posted Saturday, July 09 @ 02:00:00 PDT by Dominic
Fool me once, shame on me, fool me twice shame on you... but what happens when I fool you five or six dozen times? I always respond to my name in any instance as it's the polite thing to do, except when it comes to their callings out in defiance of my clear desire to rip open and apart the Daddy-O's CD player. So there, Fool.

Nose Stolen, Father Suspected
Posted Friday, July 08 @ 02:00:00 PDT by Brendan
My dad's a dedicated double-dipping doo-da daddy-o and a radical jokey by any account imaginable. When my nose turned up missing following his "I got your nose" proclamation, he was obviously our first, easiest and only suspect to authorities on the scene.

Drowning Children w/o Water
Posted Thursday, July 07 @ 01:00:00 PDT by Brendan
So it's a mad, hectic, distracting world all about us, or at least so swears this Daddy-O I claim as my own. He tries to do his work but our myriad kiddiesque screaming and grabbery makes it tough. Seems perhaps his birthday wish may have come true thanks to Miss Mama-Lady.

Global Warming Ignites Clothes, Human Heads
Posted Wednesday, July 06 @ 02:00:00 PDT by Brendan
During my long tenure on this, God's green Earth, I've noticed temperatures change, but also toasty up a smidgen thanks to greenhouse gases. I've only seen a few green homes and haven't dared approach them, but my research shows these temps truly have jumped by fully .009 degrees during my long life.

Fireworks Pretty, Loud, Pretty Loud
Posted Tuesday, July 05 @ 23:00:00 PDT by Dominic
I lived through an in-the-den-pants day fireworks show once before, but my recall of it is (Michael?) flatly zero. That's the past, but the presence of gunpowder in the air is the future and the future is now. Pow, zoom, purpledee-blue! Fireworks are pretty, albethem loud.

Got Stiff Upper Lip, Lower Trembling Too
Posted Monday, July 04 @ 10:00:00 PDT by Brendan
I know where my nose is and fully all about keeping all of it to any of many grindstones. Likewise, I know from keeping my head up and maintaining a stiff upper lip. Forget that they're euphemisms, it's my lower and most trembling lip I've mastered of late, and it's this very last line of defense that's best served me of late.

Still Oblivious to My Own Profession
Posted Thursday, June 30 @ 23:00:00 PDT by Brendan
I know I've been bee-busy as a travel-sized journalist now for two of my two and-a-half years, but I have a new confession for you. It's with a modicum of shame and against a heft of parental advice I admit all this, but I feel I must.


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