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More Perplexing Articles . . .

Perplexing Parasite Digs Global Host
Posted Monday, June 27 @ 23:00:00 PDT by Brendan
I've never been paid to endorse a product or service, so when I tell you something is good, I hope you take my words with their intended sincerity. Today I'm praising my host.

End Decreed to Unfair Naptime
Posted Saturday, June 25 @ 15:00:00 PDT by Brendan
As a grown toddler, I'm not a baby anymore. It's for this very reason I feel inclined to make known my independence and issue autonomous decrees as needed to right the wrongs in the world as I am able. Naptime is one such injustice and one I adamantly demand immediately abolished.

Global Shrinking Snugs Hand-me-downs
Posted Friday, June 24 @ 10:00:00 PDT by Dominic
Since way before I've been able to know it, I've been clad against my will in hand-me-downs from fully two whole brothers. They've always been bigger by a smidge, but what's new to me is that they're also more snug. What gives?

Household Haircut Record Held by Shaggy Me-man
Posted Monday, June 20 @ 23:00:00 PDT by Brendan
I've always been shaggy, though never a D.A... still, I'm high on haircut seven and in my life I'd swear my cumulative family ain't even up that far. I make no apologies, but still, it's wierd to me, like as if I'm some sort of primate, however high of one I may be.

Love Tattoos for Decorum, Temporariness
Posted Sunday, June 19 @ 23:00:00 PDT by Brendan
I'm a fairly old man now, older than ever before at the very least and most, but one thing that's really marked the permanence in my growth, life and development is all these toddler tattoos I so glady brandish.

Autonomical Staircase Begs Attention
Posted Saturday, June 18 @ 23:00:00 PDT by Brendan
Whenever I see a staircase it simply begs for me to climb up or spelunk down it. I've been doing this a very long time and it's something I accept, appreciate and know very well. This automated variety, however, begs a whole new level of attention. I think I'm ready for it.

Illiteracy Bars Hallmark Appreciation
Posted Wednesday, June 15 @ 06:00:00 PDT by Brendan
I've seen holiday and greeting cards aplenty in my earthly tenure, but none of it could have prepared me for the breadth of touching and clever quips contained in the Hallmark shop. maybe it's my illiteracy, but it's all lost on me.


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