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More Perplexing Articles . . .

Bathroom Reeks of Fetid Swamp-nasties
Posted Monday, May 30 @ 02:00:00 PDT by Brendan
There's fully five culprits acting against the clean air of our communal household bathroom, but I don't care who's most or most likely to blame. The one thing I do know without a doubt is that our bathroom, nay our entire home, stanks to high heck of stagnant waste water, whether in solids or something more foul.

Baby Me Still Growing in Height, Personality
Posted Saturday, May 28 @ 22:00:00 PDT by Dominic
I know I'm still the baby around here, and barring the Miss Mama baby factory re-opening for business I'll ALWAYS be the youngest child around here, but I'm no infant anymore, I'm a toddler here and I've got my own right here, personality included.

Little Red Schoolhouse Lacks Little Red School Bus
Posted Friday, May 27 @ 03:00:00 PDT by Brendan
According to a series of so-called "doctors" with their so-called "doctorates," I've fallen somewhat significantly behind in terms of my so-called "communication skills," and I'm less worried that I'm abusive to my staff than that my school bus isn't representative.

Goldfish Plentiful, Dime a Dozen
Posted Thursday, May 26 @ 02:00:00 PDT by Brendan
The only "pet" we keep is baby brother Dominic. Cats and dogs are outside our allergenic sphere of comfort and fish or reptiles are generally too passive. Dominic isn't house trained so we're pretty content thus far. Also, he mostly walks on all fours, silly baby.

Kiddo Shipped Off to Obedience School
Posted Wednesday, May 25 @ 18:00:00 PDT by Brendan
"What's the meaning of this?"quoteth I. I know I've always coveted Patrick's school bus ridery, but sending me off to obedience school isn't just insulting, it's bizarre, unimaginable and outright cruel to my animal. I may just call PETA.

Nocturnal Snugglies Warm as I'll Get Out
Posted Monday, May 23 @ 23:00:00 PDT by Dominic
Month after month from one season to the next there's been so painfully little I can count on consistently. My crib has shrunk, the parents have become intelligible, and my jammy-jams keep me perfectly warm at night, but now it may be too much.

Baby Oblivious to Party, Hell Raising
Posted Sunday, May 22 @ 02:00:00 PDT by Brendan
So, Dominic turned from nothing to one, which is a huge step in his personal multiplicity. I say "whatever" and clearly so does he. I say this as he lives it out because, despite absurd levels of noise, he still slept through part of it.


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