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Breaking News
Navy's Trojan Horse Program Cancelled
Our Sister Site – – Is Launched
Pancake Day Cometh but Once a Year
PhotoWorks Good for Everyday, Any Day, Even Valentine's Day
Montana Reviews Continue on the Best Montana Site

Op / Ed
You Can't Park Your Frog Here
Problem Found, Ya Got No Motor
Butte Visitor Center Must-First-Stop in Historic Mining Town
Seabrook Vacation Helps Us Get Away, Relax, Dream
Billings Visitor Center Great People in Great Town

Family Pancake House Review... Delicious
Boys Had Laughs at Aladdin Puppet Show
The Day We Missed Pancake Day
Big Wheel (Allegedly) Keeps on Turnin'
Visit the Great State of Montana With Kids


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The Perplexing Archives . . .
   (Kinda all the stories since forever)
Family Pancake House Review... Delicious
Boys Had Laughs at Aladdin Puppet Show
The Day We Missed Pancake Day
Big Wheel (Allegedly) Keeps on Turnin'
You Can't Park Your Frog Here
Problem Found, Ya Got No Motor
Navy's Trojan Horse Program Cancelled
Our Sister Site – – Is Launched
Pancake Day Cometh but Once a Year
PhotoWorks Good for Everyday, Any Day, Even Valentine's Day
Visit the Great State of Montana With Kids
Montana Reviews Continue on the Best Montana Site
Golf May Be Miniature, Fun Still Full Size
Butte Visitor Center Must-First-Stop in Historic Mining Town
Yellowstone County Museum Coolest Free Museum in Area
Fort Missoula Museum; Big on History, Small on Boring
Missoula Children’s Museum Is Fun Afternoon Romp
Western Heritage Museum Makes for Mad Day of Great Fun
Montana Fun Adventure Tour as Fun & Personal As You Like
Perplexing Times Honored By Another Awesome Syndicate
Wal-Mart Santa Has Shorter Lines, Longer Temper
Seabrook Vacation Helps Us Get Away, Relax, Dream
A Child's Christmas in Wales by Stone Soup Theatre
Northwest Puppet's Version of Cinderella Equal Parts Unique & Fun
Point Defiance ZooLights Kicks Off Holiday Season Right
Cougar Mountain Zoo Welcomes Santa Plus His Reindeer
Ivar's Clam Lights Disproves Myriad Mollusk Myths
Museum of the Rockies Got Dinos & Space Trips a’ Plenty
Hay for Horseshoes Despite Serious Bodily Hazard
Billings Visitor Center Great People in Great Town
World Museum of Mining Lives Up to Lofty Name
Computer Museum Tad Over My Head, Still Great Fun
Yellowstone Art Museum So Neat We Wanna Touch Off-Limits Art
Exploration Works Museum Tricks Kids to Learn During Play Time
Virginia City Players Best Live Show This Side of Puppets
Café Gelato at Qwivals So Much More than a Snack Bar
Great Northern Carousel Struggles to Outshine Own Eatery
Splash Montana Water Park Killer Outdoor Version of Missoula Currents
Moss Mansion Tour Surprisingly Interesting for All Ages
Easy-to-Hunt Ghosts at Bannack State Park
Qwival's Family Fun Center Offers Fun Name, Funner Time
Western Romance Adventure Dinners Gives Best, True Cowboy Experience
Butte Trolley Tour a Great Summer Ride
Ye Old Virginia City Tourist Photos By Far the Coolest
Cowboy Surprise Shocks Birthday Brother
Ghost Musicians Please Nevada City Crowds
Remlinger Halloween Farm Once Again Rocks the Season
Seattle’s Halloween Train Chuggas Its Choo-Choo on Horizon
Fire Engine Tour Barely Ok, Still Novel
Mineral Museum Good, Free Fun, Plus Gold I Guess
Staggering Oxen Missoula Rivals Flagship Store Glory
Western Heritage Inn Actually Kinda Terrible
Museum of the North Great Plains Preaches Fun from Farming
Killer Rooms, Reasonable Rates, and a Water Park to Boot
Electric City Water Park Great for Soaking in Fun, Sun, Water
School Pictures Ten Times Better, Half the Price
Alder Gulch Train Proves Short Lines Makes for Long Fun
Virginia City Free Museum Actually Cool Crap Store
Summer Ski Chair Lifts More than Spirits at Big Sky Resort
Inn Keeper Puppy Brings Towels to Cabin, Also Wet Nose
Nevada City Re-Enactors Miss My Time-Travel Joke
Currents Missoula the Best Indoor Water Park This Side of Anywhere
Geyser Park Family Fun Center True Fun for Families in Billings
Butte Mining Memorial Almost Worth Visit
Bug-Phobia Evaporates Thanks to My Ant Buddy
Brother Learning Summer Lessons Mechanics, Aquatics, Both
Berkeley Pit Fails to Breed Superheroes, Despite Toxic Waste
Red & Green Brazilian Steakhouse Has Great Food, Hold the X-Mas
Montana Natural History Center Less Pretty, More Pretty Interesting
Pictograph Caves in Billings Barely Caves, Hardly Pictographic
Smokejumper Center Honors History of Madmen Jumping into Fires
No Trip Complete Without Sleepover in the Slammer
Zoo Montana Best In, If Not By, 500 Miles
Poultry-Themed Baseball All the Rage at Osprey Park
Deer Lodge Car Museum Floors Parents, Kids, Cars Alike
Elk Country Visitor Center Welcomes Amerigrants
New Influx of Readership Begs Renewed Questions
Sapphires in Them Thar Hill For Keepsies if You Find ‘Em
Take a Wong Turn to See the Old Fire Tower
Staggering Ox Eatery Proves People Can Stagger Too
Sit a Spell at CineMark, If Only to See Wall-E
Piccadilly Museum of Transportation Worth the Free Admission
Suburban Cottonwood City Rustic Round-Out to Main Drag
Headwaters Museum Ideal Example of Ubiquitous Coolery
Deer Lodge Has Prison Museum Genre Locked Down
Seeley Lake A Fine Stop Off Near Nowhere’s Middle
Grizzly Encounter Has Bears On Display, Specifically Two
Fairmont Hot Springs Doesn’t Disappoint, Appoint
Mountain-Sized Park Slide Best Reported from Safe Distance
Dragon Hollow Easily the Tallest Playground Ever
Missoula Carousel Makes Merriment in Go-Roundish Fashion
Missoula Public Parks Leave Me Misty Eyed
Dust Devil Tour Kicks Off in St. Regis
Visiting Puerto Rico with Kids
S.C.U.B.A. the Best Dry Underwater Puppet Adventure
Sickness Hits Head Like Hammer of Snot
Eggs As Scrambled As Cooking Understanding
Post Holiday Midair Chucking Captured in Photography
Moving Situation Once Again Totally Moves Me
Flip for Free Flapjacks
Power Ranger Birthday Makes Un-Mockery of Mr. Me-Man
Stand Up For Independence, Eggs
Flight Home from Puerto Rico OK, Not for Others
USDA Research Gardens Interesting, Stanky
NW Puppet Center Presents Madeline with Full Glory
Puerto Rico Trip Reports Cut Short by Lack of Interest
Gilligan's Island Discovered During 3-Hour Tour
Syndication Deal Inked with Puerto Rico Lifestyle Magazine
Merry Belated Christmas from Perplexing Times et Junk
Saint Hallows Alien Invasion Be-Bungles My Mind
Buzz Brigade Travels a Lightyear for Halloween Fun
Sleeping on the Job Evidenced by Proof, Evidence
Batman Theme Brings Action to Photography, Pajamas
Remlinger Farms Halloween Scary Fun, Not Scary Bad
Cuevas de Camuy: the K-Mart of Puerto Rico Spelunkholes
Muppet Agenda Leads to Loose Jell-O Complacency
Puerto Ricans Unwilling to Exchange My Money
Cabo Rojo Lighthouse Coolest Thing on Puerto Rico's Southwest Corner
Arecibo Lighthouse Pirate Cave Worth the Trip Itself
When in Puerto Rico, Check out the Camuy Caves
Arecibo Lighthouse Museum Is Freaking Awesome
Fun Valley Park Café Cuts Visit Costs by Half
Staff Videographer Struggles w/ Basic Principles
Puerto Rico Gimmes the Best Summer Birthday Ever
Beloved Bear Celebrates First Bearthday
Despite Appearance, Tribal Native Denies 'Ninja' Status
El Taino Restaurant Fails to Fail Customers Any More
Spiderman Collectible Trumps Other Tourist Glory
Parque de Bombas, Ponce, Puerto Rico Doesn't Suck
Gúanica Dry Forest Has Something for Everybody, Except Humans
Tourist Assaulted in Puerto Rico by Rogue Wall
Chaseable Pigeons Revel in Survival-Based Fitness
Fun Valley Park Celebrates 6th Anniversary
Zoo the Only Place Not Run by Monkeys
Crush on Dora of Explorer Fame Finally Realized
Hurridean Cain is Super, Man: Category-3
We Be Jamón
Puerto Rico Children's Museum No Place for Kids
Botanists Shocked by Porcupine Tree Discovery
Baby Pony Silent, Technically a Little Horse
Waterproof Sunscreen Ineffective Against Crying
Puerto Rican Restaurant Boasts Playground, Pony Rides
Arecibo Radio Dish Must Get Like a Billion Channels
August Christmas in Full Swing at K-Mart
Over-Promising Junior Editor Found Lounging at Café
Pizza Trailers Find Profit in Licensed Cartoon Theft
Nightmare Profile – The Search for Lost Luggage
Municipal Cemetery Offers Wide Selection of Free Bouquets
Caribbean Could Benefit from Qualified Exterminator
Simpson's Movie Review, It's D'oh-Liteful!
Getting In Fan-Gear For Simpson's Movie
Publication Schedule Increased 40% Until Further Notice
Lookout For Cabo Rojo Lookout Tree Fort
Kids Reach Agreement on Dad's Age – He's 2-years Older
Good Yokes Don't Make for Bad Eggs
Ruined Lighthouse Stands as a Beacon for Shipwrecks
Butcher Ponce de Leon Still Revered in Slaughto Rico
Saunter Ponies-Up Fun, Regardless of Naysaying
Fort Caprón Perfect for Everything Except a Visit
Roadside Zoo Offers… Wait, Roadside?
McRestaurant McAlmost McReminds McMe of McHome
Passports Pointless por Puerto Rico
Travelocity Successfully Books Longest Route Possible
3rd Class Citizens Delight in 1st Class Seating
Age Unggeration Aids Airfare Budget by Hundreds
Airlines All Equally Yucky at Cust. Service
Surviving Long, Foodless Flights
Michel Thomas Spanish Lessons Effective, Hysterical
Expatriation Rumors Heat Up, Pickup Steam, Verily Smolder
Mr's Po-tatofaces Deny 'Mrs' Status, We're Plural
Lampy-Headed Guy Subs in for Junior Writer
World Oddly Upside Down, As if We're Moving
Blue Like Me: La Angst de la Grover
Birthday Perfected by Inflata-Elmo
NW Puppet Center Wraps Season w/ Brilliant Interpretation of Pied Piper
Reporter Investigates, Determines 'This Happens'
Birds of Prey Lack Prayer-Required Steeple Fingers
Journalist Reportedly Naked, Modestly Chubby
Associate Friend-Heads Still Entirely Blurry
I'm Not a Huge Dork, but I Play One on the Web
Duck! (There's a Bear at the Zoo)
Eldest Maintains Oldest Appearance to Youngerlings
Toogle Spells Google Pictures Out in Words
Discovery Park Seattle Leads to Fun, Discovery
Woodland Park ZooMazium Simply Zoo-Mazing
Free Friday Frun at KidsQuest in Factoria
Man-Monkey Fails to Hear, Smell, Squint Evil
Preschool Drum Recital Hide-Bangingly Delightful
Birthday Gone, Embarrassing Sombrero Pix Remain
Volunteer Conservatory Free for People & Refugee Plants Too
Connect-Six Proves Unplayably Difficult
Doughnuts Make My Brown Eyes Blue
Chocolate-Face Guy Gets Me Accused of Racism
Volunteer Wishing Pond Affords Nickels of Dreams On, In Tap
Four Chun Cookies Warn About Fashion, Bees
Quibbling Squabblers Reluctantly Concede to Sharing
New Career Hauls Long, Employees Keep Truckin'
Staff Camera Shipped off to Affiliate Site, New Contraption Rocks
Gigantinormous Ford F-250 Big, Deluxe, Robotic
Area Bird Really Shakes the Tail Feather
Waning School Days Go Bye-Bye and Weee!!!
Spring Now in Full Swing (or Vice-Versa)
Profile of Courage – Brother Patrick
Witness to Cake Thievery Steps Forward
Perplexing Times Bigger in Asia than Godzilla
Airplane Game Makes Me Feel 'Pilot-ish' for a Minute, Token
Party Planners Find Unlimited Options w/ Picture Cakes
Hat's Birthday Allegations Confirmed
Web Piracy Exposé Cut Short
Fish Also Beg 'Don't Pounce on the Glass'
Volunteer Park Invites Visitors to Volunteer Their Leisure
Teachers Reveal Dark Secret: I'm Actually an Introvert
Slides Cause Apprehension in Hatted Children
Kindness of Strangers Warms Hearts, Fills Tummies
Jesus Crackers This Thing is Cool
Spider-Batman, Knight-Dog Fight Good Fight
Google Knows Best, I Love My Dad
Contemporary Food Etiquette Impossible
Chrysler Aspen a Big Great Car, Not a Great Big Car
Robot Decimates Neighborhood Home
Daily Columnists Back on Track
Eggriculture Less Hunting-Based than Gathering
Toddler's 'I Am Buzz Lightyear' Theory Seemingly Confirmed
Despite Contraindicators: Daddy is an Idiot
Perplexing Times Admits to Taking Brief Break
Scare Disaster Hair Salon Butchers Do, Children's Ears
Stellar Vision Offers Starry Nights 365-Days Each Year
Manga Toon Kid-Star Loses Sight of Reality
Community Center Makes Family Movie Night Affordable
Siesta Policy Abused
Seattle Gets 'Puss in Boots: The Creole Cat' in Puppets
Dinosaur-Filled-Moon Theory Rejected
Volvo XC-90 Makes Us Feel Safe, Cool, Despite New Jersey Plates
Ninjas Cool, Terrifying, Terrific, Even in TP-Tubes
Airing You're Dirty Laundry [Sic and Sick]
Crest Theater Offers Awesome 2nd Run Film Experience
Have You Seen This (Non-)Missing (Quasi-)Child?
Sunday School Riddled with Me-Sized Dudes
Tuesday Shroved Promo Pancakes for Charity
Slumping Snowman Proves Slush Too Warm to Mold
Brother-Lantern Loves Jacko-Toy Like Hallow-Crazy
Sword-Guy Yesterdream Comes Eerily, Endreamily True
Sword-Guy Most Desired Profession Amongst Youth
Ape Endures Tiny Cage, Drives Merely Modest Shoe-Car
Northwest Puppet Center Presents Aesop's Fables
Play Pool Teaming with Flesh-Tickling Bears
Camera Phone Proves Blurry, Zoomy, Impractical
Because You Read Perplexing Times
Missing Boy Loses Family, Inhibition
4th B-day Overshadowed by Lack of Photo Waivers
Bat-Tigerman Costume Offers Poor Outlook
He Ain'tn't Hungry; He's My Brother
Giganti-Hand Accused of Butt Grabbery
Auntie Struggles to Salvage Eternal Souls
KidsQuest Museum Makes Factoria a Kid/Parent Tourist Destination
Global Warming Theory Defeated by Poor Naming Policy
Microwave Ideal for Thawing, Less So for AA Batteries
Recanted Re-Can-Too! (AKA Google's a Big Meany)
NW Puppet Center Shows 'Crane & Turtle: Images of China'
Protesters Speak Out from 'Free Speech Corners'
Halloween Long Gone, Never Forgotten
Newest Photographer Struggles Under Steep Learning Curve
Catch of the Day Smells Fishy, Poopy
Hollywood Puts Brother Magically in Latest Film
Let Me Ask 500 Questions; Why?
Reflecting on Christmas: A Summary
'Not Tired' Reporter Still Insists 'Just Resting'
Best Thing About Being a Brendan: I'm the Only One
Newest Playhouse Fun, Dark, a Closet
Karting Accident Helps Drivers Practice Hand Gestures
Park Bench Artistic, Uncomfortable
Freedom Ostrich in Final Throes of Outsurgency
Pinkeye More Crusty than Rosy
Why Can't We Be Rich?
Couch Seating Remarkably Butt-Ouchy
Wig-Fun Experiment Testy, Un-Fun
Killer Christmas Card Ready for Print
House of Boys Finally Gets Dollies
Season O' Santa as Rewarding as Promised
Real Joy of Christmas Discovered: Presents
Plasti-Santa Ain't Kidding Nobody
Christmas Village Complete w/ Mini-Trains, Mega-Conductor
Holiday Celebrity Finally Found
Chilling Effects of Winter Extends to Playgrounds
Chap Stick™ Too Tasty Not to Eat
Seasons Shift, Let it Slush, Let it Slush, Let it Slush
Christmas Lights Brighten Nights and Spirits
Gingerbread Carpentry Holds Potential Health Hazards
Local Children Insist: We Are Cheese!
Whole Class of Dogs Ready to Learn
Night-Swinging a Poor Sport, Dark, Chilly
Seattle Sadly Lacks Recognizable Landmark
'Happy Feet' Wakens Opus of Inner-Penguin
On-the-Job Injuries Trickle Down to Preschools, Preschoolers
Buzz Lightyear Dutifully Guards Pizza
Civic Tuba Free, Impossibly Unplayable
MissLissa Takes on Greater Photo Role
Wiggling Brother Invents New 'The Robot' Dance
NW Puppet Center Presents: Babar & Father Christmas
I Know My Name is Brendan
Week-Plus Absence Blamed on Weak-Plus Sickness
Perplexing Times Forces Google to Rethink Algorithms
Farewell to Halloween Decorations
Study Finds Kids Kiss Darnedest Things
Frog Count Diminished, Experts Insist 'Have a Sticker!'
Quality Hide-Go-Seek Hidey-Holes Hard to Find
Brother Ante Upped, Other Brother Cured
Parents Magically Foil Nap Circumvention Efforts
Autistic Child Overcomes Fear of Being Picked Up
Woodland Park Zoo's 'Pumpkin Prowl' a Tricky Treat
Paternal Fitness Plan 'Be Monster for Me' Panned by Father
Costume Special Part-10 – Super Booby Heroes
New Playground Gets Six Thumbs Up
Costume Special Part-9 – Double-Blind Pirate
Kiddo-Gate Defeated, Parents Unimpressed
Costume Special Part-8 – Smarterer Dumm Jocks
There's a Dinosaur in the Closet
Remlinger Farms Offers Best Halloween Fun for All
Costume Special Part-7 – Official Rug-Rat Rats of Rug
The Drive of Ponies, Boats, Fire Trucks & a Bus
Staff Camera Broken or Haunted
Experts Shocked by Discovery of Endangered Drive-In Theater
Pumpkin Patch Offers Acres of DIY Jack-O-Lanterns
Costume Special Part-6 – Paper Heroes
Hay is for Horses, Hay Maze for Ponies
Fire Industrial Complex Recruits Aggressively
Magma-Laden Lamp Curiously Lava-Lightful
Nickelodeon Celebrity Meet-N-Greet Fails Hype
Costume Special Part-5 – Trucker Convoy
Doing 'The Doozy' Fair-ly Exhausting
Brotherly Allegedly Now 'Seven' All the Time
Protest Peaceful, Yet Picket Unsuccessful
Costume Special Part-4 – Whole Head Tattoo Guy
Age Restriction Less Enforced than Gravity
Puppy Claims Dog's Life Is 'Rough'
Costume Special Part-3 – Frightening Foam Fear-Faces
New Site Graphics Proposed
Search Engines Do Amazing Work for Us, for Free
College Fund Update, 2k-ot-6
Traffic Continues Upward Swaaaang
Perplexing Times Celebrates Magic 1,000th Article
Low-Carb Delight Discovered in Breadless Sammich
Costume Special Part-2 – Play-Do Demon
Costume Special Part-1 – Robin's Mask & Sword
Unemployment Diet Enfattens Unemployed
Preschooler Exhibits 'Many Faces Of' to Potential Agents
Reflecting on the Tragedy I Never Knew
World Verified as Shrinking, Heating Bi-Quarterly
Biggest Fan a Breeze, Bargain, Under 20-Bucks
Reporter Proves Good Luck for Slumping MLB Team
Gun Love Strangely Forbidden
Waning Seconds of Summer Hurriedly Enjoyed
Mama Disdains Daddy-O Scribble Schedule
Brother Savant Can Hit Anything with Bowling Pin
You Played My Battleship!
Dog's Tongue Looks Suspiciously Like Ham
Pops Properly Lolly-licious
Brother's Jack-o-Lantern Spot On tho' Months Early
Summer Goofs Unaware of Silly Appearance
Boxes Just Ain't What They Used to Be
Static Hair Charger Works Perfectly
Shorter Days Permit Delayed Bedtimes
Strange Toys Move Over, Enter 'Yucky Superhero'
Perplexing Times Wins Highest News Satire Award
Journalist Infiltrates Group of Known Killers
Nose Picking Decried as Uncouth, No-No
Study Finds Screaming Less-than-Charming Despite Prevalence
Proclamation Breaks Parents' Hearts
Today's Kids Unimpressed by Piñata Contents
Tic-Tac-Face Game Remarkably Confusing, Dull
Monkey Brother Climbs Way to Trouble
College Fund Demanded by Collection Scammer
Department Store Dogs Amazingly Unresponsive
Heat Wave Crests on Home, Tsunami of Sweat Ensues
Study Finds Masses Can't Understand Gibberish
Perplexing Times Announces Quality/Quantity Shift
Boy-Toys Seek Companions, Don't Understand 'Boy Toy'
Juleaster Fireworks Beautifully Terrifying
Kid Candid, Dad Fat
Reporters Return from 'Hiatus Don't-Hate-Us'
Parenting Publication Accused of Improper Car Seat Use
Mostly Sure Boss Overslept Staff Meeting
Visit San Francisco with Kids
Window Sill Allegedly 'No Place to Stand'
Aquarium Beaver Oversized, Eager
Fourth of Juleaster Bunny Brings Candy, Flammables, Inflammables
Table Guest Lambasted for Risky Self-Excusing
Suspects Named in Attempted Tooth Fairy Theft Advances Toddler Careers
Heat Beaten by Disrobery, Ice Cream
Parents Fret “Us Children Left Behind” Program
Urban Art Equal Parts Inspiring, Scary, Terrible
Fries and Drink Good While Awake, Also Asleep
Curious Dog Killed the Fax
Kids Accidentally Demand Further Kid-Proofing
Hairdos Nuevo Looking Snappy Coolio
Study Finds Public Beds as Endrowsifying as Private
Doctor Demands Finger, Patient Gives the Finger
Groundbreaking Seafood Diet Disgusts Observers
Singular Journalist Allegedly Now “Two”
Road Project Successful Due to Moral Support
Investigative Journalists Proves “My Nose” Theory
Makeshift Goggles Outperform Most Expensive Toys
Automated Poster Offers Hours of Entertainment
Carney Games a Poor Investment
Terrible-Twos Delayed, Strike with Vengeance
Terrible Music Seminar Successful, Loud
Journalist Insists “Seriously, Almost Done with San Fran”
Payola Absent from our Cisco Friendly Reviews
One Wonders Where We’ve Been, Question Answered
Bay Discovery Museum Just Huge Playground/Classroom
Aquarium Emboddies `Under the Sea` Despite Absence of Riffy Lobster
Mookie’s Café Caters to Kid Tastes with Parental Flavor
Jungle Fun Adventure Boasts Fun, Adventure, Jungle Practically My Itinerary!
Chinatown Chinariffic, Not Quite Chinese Enough
Tech Museum Makes Innovation Seem New
Lions and Wooden Ostriches and Bears, Oh My!
Park Chalet Offers Fantastilicious Food in Family Friendly Setting
Book Review: Around San Francisco with Kids
Musée Mecanique's Old Fashioned, New Fangled Fun
True Fans Understand Why Pictures Missing
Brown Bear Factory Either Stuffed Orphanage, Plush Mad Lab
Sleeping in Cars in Transit Okay, Derelict Thereafter
Beach Chalet Closest to Beach Eating Sans Eating Sand
Winchester Mansion Embodies American Architectural Bonkerness
Mark Hopkins Hotel Central Geographically, Historically
Discovery Museum Puts Kids on TV, Underwater
Us Explorers Double-Delighted by Ford Explorer
IMAX Whelms Sensory Senses Totally Over
Hotel Del Sol es Mismo Del Fun
Bakery Museum Boasts 5-Star Exhibits, One True History
Bay’s Boudin Bistro Boasts 150 Yrs of Fresh Bread
Lombard Street Steep as Stairs, Crooked as Politics
Out-a-Town Motels Spell Best Value, Least Attitude
Vacation Exhaustion Revitalizes Staff Interest in Napping
Santa Cruz Mystery Spot Knocked Me Off My Feet
No Trip Complete without Painting the Scenery
Don’t Bother with San Francisco B&Bs
Alcatraz Unreasonably Excessive for Bad Behavior Timeout
Been to San Francisco (was sure to wear flowers in my hair)
Biggo Box o' Food Aids Vacay Budget
Ripley’s Museum Perfectly Believable... Or Not?
Pointing Out Fort Point Fun, Though Curiously Off-Commissioned
Hilly Town Enhappies Me to be Pushed
Avoiding No-Name Motels for Fun, Safety and Value
Bay Quackers Rock Amphibious Aquati-land Tours, Lack Crackers
Book Review: Fodor’s San Francisco 2006
Vacation Somehow Invokes Rice-a-Roni Cravings
Trolley Car Museum Points Out History of the Obvious
I Haven't the Foggiest, San Fran Does
Golden Gate Park has Disappointingly Steely Gate
IHOP Offers Taste of Home in Crazy Town
San Fran Hills Burn My Tender Veal
Bay Cruise Adventure Equally Interesting, Hokey Tourist Delightful
San Francisco Night Life Lively, Not Early Enough
Heading for the Hills Goes Poorly, Nay, Worse
Ding, Ding, Ding Went the Trolley
Golden Gate Bridge Much too Large
Eddie Bauer Explorer Makes Ride Sleepily Smooth
Parental Packing Pattern Seems Suspiciously Vacationy
Tourism Reviews in Pre-Review
New Word ‘Gimme’ Yields Mixed Results
Your City Goes Here
Bully `So Busted` by Accidento-Parental Oversight
Ambidexterity Retired, Man Chooses Dominant Hand
Pet Adoption Rains Frogs in Accordance with Prophesy
World's 'Small' Claim Unfounded, Big After All
Brotherly Love Requires No Invitation
Spring Begs Q sans A, ‘Why We Still Bundled Up?’
Survey Finds Favorite Toy “Whatever You’re Playing With”
Wall Destroyed, Kool Aid Guy Suspected
Canine Panting Syndrome Strikes 40% of Population
Healthy Brother's Sickeningly Losing a Tooth
Two Days in the Tub Admittedly Too Many
Krispy Kaps Melt like Doughnuts in the Bathtub
Paper Hat Novelty Promises Lifelong Sustainability
Go-Go Gadget Doughnut Maker!
Fantasti-Ford Takes (Dry) Lickin’ Keeps Purrin’ Like a Lion
Follow-up, Seattle Schools Half-Admit Faulty Testing
Sibling Choking Apparently Off-Limits
See Seattle with Your Perplexed Children
Toddler Enters New Era of Adorability
Perplexed in Shanghai, Specifically with Kids
Child’s Bed Overrun with Nighttime Toys
Take Ya Kids to Humboldt County
Cool Hat Ushers in St. Somebody’s Day
Visiting Vancouver, BC with Kids in Tow
Echo Kid Sounds as Cool as Me
Touring Washington Coast, Longbeach and Astoria
Relaxing Mask Makes Me Ponder Self, Selves, Others
Spiderman Car Raises More Questions than Answers
Dogs Play Poker Despite Lacking a Full House
Follow Up, Youngest Class Klutz Discovered Too
Record Youngest Class Clown Discovered
Mondays Get New Meaning in Lando-Syndication
Indeed Goes Round but 'Merry' Harder to Sell
Perplexing Store Opens for Business
Fell So Hard I Cracked my Butt
Reporter “Always Swore Smartiness,” Experts Finally Agree
Sicko’s Parents Refuse to Hamper Infectious Outbreaks
Spiderman (and me) Con Killer Escape
Perplexing Times Weighs Addition of Newsreels
Nation Gripped with Pancake Day Fever
What’s All This “Wind” Stuff About?
Sticks and Stones May Break My Teeth
Real Rocks Less Tasty Than “Pop” Variety
“No Parking” Proven Untrue at City Parks
Study Confirms Boys Indeed Love Climbing
Where in Heck's Our Syndication Already?
Chicken Little Tops “Cutest Alarmist” List
Cartoons Fun and Wholesome, for Christ’s Sake
'Mr. Poopyhead' Slur Uncalled For
New Fort Trimmed Out Tremendously
Short Writers Asked to Shorten Some More
Incremental Growth Enjoyed by Readership, Writers
I Speak for All Children
All You Need is Love... and Toys, Maybe Some Candy
Despite Weapons Ban, More Guns in Kids’ Hands
Candy Good, Meats and Fats Somehow Better
WaMu Ups Convenience Ante w/ In-Home Branches
Love Series of Identical, Mysteriously Puzzling Presents
Kiddy Gate Proven No Match for Prehensile Monkey Toes
Yeah, Baby, SatireSearch Better Recognize!
Half Brother Befuddled by Sib’s Differing Surname
Freezer Purchase Inspires Forbidden In-Climbing
Writer In Touch with Inner Whiner
People in Glass Houses Shouldn't Stow Thrones
New Board Game 'Candyland' Needlessly Complicated
Pencil Poke in Eye Narrowly Edges Out Sharp Stick
Carnival Mirror Makes Dressing, Grooming Nearly Impossible
Double Bathtub Offers Cleanliness, Dish Soap
I Give, Where's Waldo?
Outfit Looks Sherpariffic!
House Infested with Wild Kittens
Spiderman Chairs Fantastic(ally Over-Tippy)
Aerosol Cheese Equally Delicious, Disastrous
Unwritten Rules Need Writing, Its Subjects Need Literacy
New Grammy Sweaters Itchy, Odd
Wet Diaper Solution More Rough than Tumble
Loveseat Feels Loveless
Day Old Gingerbread Civilization Wows Architects, Rots Teeth
Seasonal Nutcracker Suggests Year-Round Scrotum Punching
Seattle Schools Illegally Inept at Special Needs Admissions
Seasonal Trains Hands-Off, Hands-On
Avian Cake Causes Black Paw & Mouth Syndrome
Cake-Bite Allegedly Oversized
Hi, My Name is, WHAT? My Name is HUH?
Hiding Behind Gate Accidentally Leads to Modern Art
Kid Looks Like Homer Simpson, D'oh!
Antlerheaded Lady Can't Say Where Parents Are
New Year Rung Officially by Drunken Neighbors
As If Santa Read My Mind, Letter
Back From In-House Vacation
Block Tower Defies Gravity, Physics; Nay, Obeys
Winter Weather Leads to Handsomer Hats
Holiday Hound Bigger Oblivious Celebrity than Me
Male Models Hit Scene, Also Slap
Stair-Stare Indicates Greater Curiosity
Euphemism Confirmed - Hay Indeed for Horses
Half Suspect Santa Maybe Not Real
Secular Nativity Captures Season’s Capitalism
Ghosts of Christmas Past (articles) Here to Haunt
Toy Room a Cryin’ Sty
Sweatshop Satisfaction Rises Thanks to PR Shift
Road Constriction Project Successful
Frosty T. Snowman Proven Slovenly At Home
Winter Has Wantered
Perplexing Times Nominated for Multiple 'Brendy' Awards
Smuggle Your Brother to Work Day
Camera Takes Fine Photos, Lends Insight to Self, Mouth
Spaghetti Squeegee Craved by Parents, Kid-Faces
Daddy-O Fears We'll Age, Gets Parental Fears
Kids Tired by (of?) Playland Rubbery
Day in Town Delightfully Dorito’d
Man I Love Photo Shoot Outtakes
Bottled Water Remarkably Bland
Mexican Wrestling Career Ends Muy Rapido
Nap Addict Excels in Peer Pressure
Pediatricians Renounce 'Dish Washing' Children
Autumn Leafs Me Astonished
Now Who’s the Yahoo!?
Naps Quit, Still Dabble Socially
Biography for MissLissa
Biography for Dog
Biography for Patrick Joseph, Sr. Auditor
Biography for Dominic Benjamin, Jr. Journalist
Playland Found to Be Ridicudangerous, Ridicufun
Biography for Brendan Alexander, Sr. Journalist
Good Samitanism Comes Back to Bite (Literally)
Merchant Allegedly Entrancing Children
Boating Boasts Good Fun, Elitism
Ugly ARPANET Ads Disappearing
A Reminder to Check Out HumorFeed
Reporters Reduced to Shameless Begging
Cauliflower Tricks Would-be Potato Eater
Box Folk Tire of Unwanted Attention
Got My Own Kiddy Bed. BTW; Coooool
Crib Suffers/Enjoys Last “Hoorah”, All Else Rejoice
Wooden Temple Demands Praise, Awe, Shucks
Toddler Boasts Own 'Appliance Hilarity'
I’m the Reason Kids Don’t Dress Themselves
Trick-or-Treating Cut Mysteriously Short
Toothbrush Added to Hope Chest
Halloween Trick-or-Treating Leads to Toothbrush Trick
Halloween Brings In Our Outer Animals
Household Control Overtaken Remotely in Person
Frito Bandito Steals Snacky Refreshments
Why Can’t We Go To Print?
Kid Dawns Mohawk Just to Upset Parents
Extreme Sports (PVC Slides) Hair Raising
It’s Suggested There’s No Pleasing Me, It’s True
UFC Announces Penultimate Fighting Championship®
Third Opinion In, It Ain’t Just Me
I’m Accident Prone, Second Lump Concurs
Eager Brother Usurps Pee Throne
More Fun than Basket Full of Monkeys
Boy Caught With Dolly Faces Life of Embarrassment
Dad Deserves Medal, Trophy, Award, Gets Love
School Harps Impossible Colors, ABCs, 123s
Hat Shop Brags More Careers than City College
Perplexing Art Officially On Sale
Paperwork (Hoo-Ha) What is it Good For?
“Invisible Kool-Aid” Appallingly Visible
Passive Vocabulary Selectively Expands
Newsworthy from Birth Our Specialty, Legacy
Tech Sector Busts, Perplexing Tech Booms
Susan Lazy, Giddy to Swivel
Luncheon Degrades to Blame-Game, Popcorn Feast
Found Guilty of a Salt and Battery
'Help' Found Synonymous with 'Hinder'
Capilano Bridge Wobbly, Suspenseful
Grouse Mountain Sounds Grouchy, Certainly Isn't
Vancouver's Street People Less Smelly, More Juggling
Chinese Garden Best This Side of Beijing
Won-Ton Destruction at Foo's Ho Ho
Vacay Teaches Vocab Without Meaning
Vacation Equally Exhilarating, Exhausting
Mini-Train Museum Boasts Mega Fun
Howard Johnson Keeps Kids (in) Safe(s)
Bright Lights, Big Kiddies
Day in the Sun for Non-Packing Dog
Sibling Rivalry Displayed via Roughhousing
Bad Humor Man Brings Ice Cream, Brain Freeze
Walk-In Cupboards Offer More Play Room
Garden's Secrets Revealed: Buncha Dead Plants
Vonage Makes Me Shake (in) My Booty(s)
Seattle Metro Bus Tunnel Bus-tastic!
Baby Walker Clever Yet Escapable
Familial Shyness Rivaled by Stranger Openness
Dog's Days Day Spa Rejuvenates
Retaining Wall Rocks Hard Without Drummer, Bassist
Allergic to Wheat? You've Got to be Kidding!
Stairs Already Mastered
Fenced Yard Secure... Even From Us
Civilized Man Commands Fire
Fudge Found Culpable in Smear Campaign
Got New House. Dad, You Move(d) Me
Moving Strains Kids' Emotions, Parents' Backs
Dad Spotted Van-Stuffing Boxes, Furniture
Mama Boxes Stuff, Stuff Wins by TKO
Mini House Hunt Slightly Successful, Too Slight
House Pecking, Hunting, Gathering?
Mold Allergy Bloody Gross
Everything's a Butt
Hero Mark Surfaces; Introducing: Infant Man!
Doorknob Conundrum Gleefully Unraveled
Dad Knows History, Begs Great Grammy's Take
Rice Preferred in 'Lico' Form
Eye for Eye Escalates Intra-brethral Slappery
I'm Sure Grouchy, Zzzz...
'Activity' Combats 'Thick Thigh Syndrome'
Tube Baby Tests Positive for Glee
Toddling Pains Feet, Forehead
'Nursemaids Elbow' Cripples Typing
Outhouse Wandery Unstinky
London Gets Olympics, Peek-A-Boo Still Out
Million Toys Less Enticing than Keys, Wallet
Newcomer Edges Mischief Market Share
Budget Bolstered by Notebook Blowout
Ducks Maybe Tearfully Blocked
Slides Go 'Weee!', Up Feature Broken
Found Car Older Than Dad's
Botanical Patio Pretty, Fragrant, Fragile
Busiest Editor Asks 'Drop Me a Line?'
Nostrils Roughly Finger-Sized
Goof Time Adjusts Perspective, Inverts
Post-Apocalyptic Theme Party a Real Riot
Filler Story Arrives, Re/Disappoints
Perp Times Behind, Jr. Hands Still Tied
Kid Satire Crippled by Short-handedness, Not Shortness
Dragons Extinct, Dragonology Endangered
TeleTubbies Fascillating
Horse of Different Color, Size, Texture
Half Remember Wholly Pretty Old Friend
Summer Cottage Lacks, Well, A Lot
Grocer Hosts Tattoos, Electro-Steed Wranglin'
Living 'Just Cute Enough for my Own Good'
Gibberish Nearly Fluent, Still Unintelligible
Peaceful Protest Kicked Up a Notch, BAM!
Dad Likely Unfaithful... Seeing Other Brothers
Jowels of Doom Demand Attention, Appreciation
Reunited (And It Feels So Goooood)
Magic Proven Real, Not Fakey At All
Nikon Made Big Change, Sents; Short
Despise Dad's 'To Work' Departures
Exercising My Mantra: 'NO!'
Home Stereo Vandalism Rocks, Rolls, Blows Hootie Fish
Nose Stolen, Father Suspected
Drowning Children w/o Water
Global Warming Ignites Clothes, Human Heads
Fireworks Pretty, Loud, Pretty Loud
Got Stiff Upper Lip, Lower Trembling Too
Still Oblivious to My Own Profession
Perplexing Parasite Digs Global Host
End Decreed to Unfair Naptime
Global Shrinking Snugs Hand-me-downs
Household Haircut Record Held by Shaggy Me-man
Love Tattoos for Decorum, Temporariness
Autonomical Staircase Begs Attention
Illiteracy Bars Hallmark Appreciation
Ectodermal Dysplasia Makes Brother Real Hot Head
Abracadabra... I'm Shy
Tri-word Mastery Uber Defines Unter Lingy Speakery
Books, Books Everywhere, Nary a Crayon to Color
Mini Cooper More My Size
Daddy's Boyism Defined by Smiles, Shrieks
Bottle Withdrawal Hurts, Hurts, Hurts
Year Later: Bigger, Better, Less Sickish
Best Part of Monster Truck Show Unveiled
A-Sauce Bear Graham Chowder Fun, Yucky
Vote Unanimous: We Love the TV
Raceress Chandra Trades Cold Steel for Hot Wheels
12-Step Graduation Seals It, I Can Walk
No Longer Sick, Infant, Quiet
Bathroom Reeks of Fetid Swamp-nasties
Baby Me Still Growing in Height, Personality
Little Red Schoolhouse Lacks Little Red School Bus
Goldfish Plentiful, Dime a Dozen
Kiddo Shipped Off to Obedience School
Nocturnal Snugglies Warm as I'll Get Out
Baby Oblivious to Party, Hell Raising
B-Day Hails Step to Positive Integers
1st B-Day, 1st Rong of Passage
No Child Labor Discount for Gasoline
Denny's Doles Out Plain Promo Pixy Pax
2nd Word Rejected, 'Babobledeh' Apparently Fake
Run for Border Ends w/ Fire Sauce Mishap
First Word 'Da-da' Seems Misunderstood
Shoes Defy Articulation, Demand Exploration
Oral Fixation Aided by Grippy Teeth
Back Hearkening to Infantilism Interrupted
Like I Have a 5th Sense
ATM Denies Monopoly Withdrawal
When in Doubt Grab for Daddy
Study Finds Lawns Unmowable, Unruly
Super Sick of Snotty Head Cold
Kindergarten Recital Sucks 'Only Mostly'
Qualified to Stand, Wobble, Holler
No, I Finished My Fries
Binkies Unsafe from Random Banditry
Businessman Advocates Power Nap
Tattoo Showing Causes Hypothermia
Equally Qualified to Thump the Melons
Home is Where the (Sweet) Tart Is
Discovery Opens Opportunity, Doors
Primate Busted for Indigenous Exploration
Medicine Yucky... Wait, I'm Sailing!
My Mouth is My USB
Got More Vocab: All Random, Unpredictable
'Bldga' My Wonderfully Wicked Mistress
Dresser Does Disappointingly Little to Clothe
America's Mop Toddler!
Vacation Perfect for Getting Away
Astoria's Breathtaking View, Chill
Chips Ahoy!
Marsh's Museum Novel, Curious, Creepy
Longbeach Lazer Squad Seeks Recruits
Longbeach Has Fairly Long-ish Beach
Playland Too McFun to McLeave
New Ride Makes Commuting Mad Party
I Broke Both Ultimate Fighting Rules
Diaper Rash May Cause Baboonism
You Say Eggs, I Say Balls, Let's Break Whole Thing Off
Keeping My Nose to the Grind Thing
Easter Beheading Brings Humpty Disappointment
No Pictures at Dinner, Please
Okay, Fine, I'm a Maneater
I Wasn't Mocking, Just Talking
Dominic Mocks My Maddened Insanity
Ball Rolling? I'm In!
Roamin' Bathhouse Disappointing, Disgusting
Bam and Me Got World's Best Jobs
Reporter Wins Poopy-Booty Pun Award
Infant Teeters to Toddler Status
Elephant Mocks Statuesquence
Dance Class: Blah, Whatever
Marxist Toy-Sharing Earns 3 Opponents
Tongue Confirms Artistic Ability
La-la Pop Gives Me Lolli-same
Munching Rug Don't Make Me Lesbimum
Pulling-Up Before May Day
Making the Most w/ Protective Pat-a-Cake
Local Crime/Grime Sweep Falls Short
Restaurant Lures Diners to Suckle Condiments
Newfound Mobility Opens Exploration Floodgate
Managing Your 1/34th Life Crisis
Charting 'Long-Term' Goals
Monster Garage Turns Bug to Jungle Gym
Unfree to Freely Pee
Masked Bandit Hogs Household Toys
Man Eaten by Restaurant Table
Just Sure Coworker is Narcoleptic
3-Footer Hosts 'Think Big' Seminar
Dad's Chair Running a Quart Low
Mobile Amazes All Except Alabamans
Perp Times Welcomes Smoochy Day
Kooky Brother Lacks Sane Diagnosis
Review: Mom vs. Plush Toy
'Lact' Only Intorable 'Ose'
Parents Detest Whine Reflex
Reporter Shelves Rules, Himself
Kindergartner Masters Swearing
Call Me Mr. Media, Let's Connect
Needless to Say (Just Like All Of It)
Teething Wheely Hurts
Hair Reported Missing/Inaction
Solids Lack Sucklability
Asian Grocer Boasts Free Aquarium
Mute Works Well, SAP Doesn't
Golden Potty Chocolate Unveiled
Odd Tooth Brings Equally Odd Slobber
Free-ish Thinker Gets Crawl On
Baby Baggies Curb Kid Kicking
Store Boasts Dangerous 'Wet Loor'
Hospitals Deny Baby Return Policy
Automotive About-Face Alters Perspective
Kangaroos Got it Hoppin' Made
Elder's Envy Claims Plain Silly
Sunday! Sunday! Sundaaaay!
Infant Suffers Toddler Envy
New Year Two-Year for You Year
Kid's Grocery Shopping Yields 80% Sugar
King Fancy-Pants Claims to 'Rule'
Dominic Makes Awesome Peasant Girl
Old Man Winter Offers Do-it-Yourself Men
I'm Terribly Two
Real Party Better, Caked-Up
Over-the-Hill Party Under-the-Funny
Talk About an Absence!
I Love Bologna-Magnet, It Loves Fridge
Happy Two-Year!
Spotty-Bro Fakes Sicky, Avoids Work
What's So Funny?
Elder Noggin Smoother Than Mine
O. Mayer Invents Bread-free Bologna
Beef Appears Tough for Digestion
Christmas Review in Re-Review
Still Crazy 'Bout Dem Balloons
What Gives w/ All the Abject Cousins?
Bottle Begins to Bear Negative Image
Couch Aids Defiance of Gravity, Death
Syndicated in Seattle, SumTimes is Now
How About a 'Best Of' Bit?
Perplexing Problem Begs Rich Benefactor
Young Rocker Masters Rocking Craft
Tree of Giving Only Takes
Snowmen Smug Behind Protective Glass
Sibling Envy Curbed by Sinister Stare
I've Got Friends in Live Places
'Noun' Defined: Anything I Can Put in My Mouth
Cute Girl an Attractive Nuisance
We've Been Remiss Like Recrazy
FDA Warns of Turkey Poisoning
Never Got to Spank Brand New Baby
We're the Men in the Box
Woah Dude, You Got Some RED Hair!
New Naptime Sport: Bedjacking
Season of Kitsch Hits the Target
Coupon Shopping No Child's Play
Cap'm Baskethead Kept Me Up
Point/Counterpoint: You're Big, You're Small
Life Somewhat* Confusing
Even Dad Needs a Little Hand Sometimes
Got a Handle on People-Heads; Called Ears
Review: Teething Toy vs. a Shoe
Gaga for Ba-ba-loons
Home Depot Unveils 'Short Construction'
Zip your Nighty-nighting, Sleep is Optional
Always Look at the Big Picture
Cowardly New World
Must you Pinch My Cheeks?
Feed Bag May Cause Candy Hangover
Prowled for Punkins, Coerced for Candy
Big Brother Big, Ego Matches
'Under Table' Apparently 'No Parking'
Triple Pre-Halloween Introvaganza
Met Mr. Salmon Half Way
Dominic Joins 'Got Teeth' Club
'No Pants' Dream Comes True
Amazing Maize Maze a Field of Screams
Nature Preserve Infested by Bumpy Rump o' Buffalo
Mariners Reject Credentials, Make Sadness
Whole World Appears Near on Globe
Agri-tourism Bad for Agora-tourists
Waterpark Prohibits Human Use
Baby Still Too Cute to Smother
Tractor Fails to Haul Grain, Cattle, Ass
Railway Murder Rampant, Fun
Help Us Keep it Lively
Winery Got More Wine than Me
Flightless Bird Conservatory All Steel, No Feathers
Senior Editor Oral Retentive
Visited Set of 'Tool' Rock Video
Library Succumbs to Media Might
Taking Own Memo No Fun
Brendan Wins Spare Tire Award
Seriously, I'm Not Superman
Superman Joins Big Brother Program
Fish, Fish Everywhere N' Not a Chip w/ Ketchup
Game of Logic Defies Just That
Listen Lady, I Hardly Know You
Escape From Tyrannical Family Foiled
15-Minute Cycle Official, Short
Brendan Issues Perplexing Request
Publishing My Rememboirs
Tongue Ring Defines Yankability
Blurry Hand Syndrome Strikes
Brendan Breaks My-Party Cry Rule
Brother Always Pushy, Finally Pays Off
Humble Chapel Sadly Downsized
Toy Envy Surfaces, Brendan Reacts
A Word on My Anachronisms
Teething a Real Pain in the Kisser
Latest Comer Stands Up for Equality
How Do You Mean 'Duck'?
Please Don't Feed (me to) the Animals
Mick Jagger Crashed My Party
Prince and the Pee, Still Slept Okay
Lice, Sniffles, Blue-Cluesery Going Around
Fall Has Fallen
I'm a Little Teapot Short and/or Stout
Rear Axle Creaky, Whiney
FDA Revises Food Pyramid, So Do I
Are You a Pelican Or a Pelican't
Prayer Answered, Guardian Angel Arrives
Fair Game Unfair; Sunk Money Not Balls
Think I Joined a Rock Band
Extreme Tape-Overs a Big Hit
Least Comfy Sleeping Position Discovered
Having a Ball Growing Up
Net Fishing Illegal, Net Babysitting Okay
New(s) Reporter May Have Mastered 'Nor' Usage
Dominic Garners Posty Pointers
'Standing' Trial Amazing, Wobbly
Permanent Markers Markedly Delightful
'DB's Fist 'N Growl' Goes BK
Tri-Brother Competition Heats Up
Gums Hurt, Slathered in Slobber
I May Be Vampire Baby
Elders Getting Harder to Impress
TV Not Interesting, Rather Enveloping
Lower Limbs Battle Upper for Control
Stalker Vampire Kitty Surfaces in Photo
Sit Down for this; I Can Sit Up
Might Have Got Another Brother
Zebra Rodeo Humane, Exciting, Springy
Pocket Bikes Mega Fun for Mini-Journalist
It Takes a (Value) Village
9 Oz. Leg Press Breaks Family Record
Nap Pre-empted by Light Switch Mastery
Parents Duped By Faux Talking
Couldn't Work, Dominic Was On the Computer
Grubby/Grabby Hands Find Use
Parents Unsuccessfully Push Cowboy Role
Canon Fails, Perplexing Enters Picasso-Style Blue Era
Shoes Equal Bye-Bye. Bored, Let's Go
My Big Brother's Bigger Than Your Big... Run Away!
Birthday Antics Literally Take the Cake
Chocolate Milks Addiction Proven by Bro Crack-Rat
Invisible Pillows Sweep the Market
Stop, Drop, I Can Roll!
Potty Doable Diapers Preferable
Toys Cool; Spoon, Spatula Far Cooler
Poppicles Defeat Heat, Redefine Sugar Consumption
I Got A Lov-a-ly Bunch of Chicken Pox
Cerebral Wit Defined by Hysterically Funny Face
Glee Garnered by Gummy Grin
Babies Allegedly Fragile
1st Movie Good as Any Other 1st
Ode to My Dog, Blanket and Bottle
Drowning Avoided as Diaper Absorbs Entire* Pool
Escape Tactics No Match for Needle-Bearing Doctor
Inflata-House Kinda Bounces, Totally Rocks
Brother Embraces 'Bus' Experience, Shirks Journalizing
Photoshop Outperforms Rogaine™ for Bald Brother
Clandestine Cabinet Shortening Leads to Increased Discipline
No One Applauds Smiling Efforts
'Gentle Jesus, We're a Handful' Insists Three Screaming Boys
Hands Approve Gripping, Mama's Hair Doesn't
MLB & Me Love Baseball, Both Demand My Credentials
Head Weighs Like 500 Pounds
Pedal-Powered Pace Car Slows Tempo to Standstill
Block Party Examined Incognito
Reportress Reports on Reporter
Impersonation of 'Steve Clues' a Dead Ringer
Adjacent Park Party Leads Promptly to Balloon Coveting
Woman Working to Help Me Earns Hearty Hug
July 4th: Loud, Pretty & Pretty Loud
Independence Weekend Ushers In Era of Sunscreen
Cotton-Poly Blend Shrinks Too
Doorknobs in Hand, Concept Still Beyond Reach
Brothers Bury Hatchet in Pile of Bears
New Reporter Steals My Ideas, Thunder
I'm No Stuffed Cuddly
New Guy Keeps Sucking Up to Mom
Toddler Busted for Domestic Climbing Infraction
Gender Bent Baby Barks Up Wrong Trunk
Primate Crib-Evicted for Monkeying Around
Does Grammy Count as a Stranger with Candy?
Gross Motor Skills Fine By Me
Monkey Seen, Monkey Just Gotta Do
Baby Fails to Fail Brendan on First Assignment
Road Trip Reaches End of the Line
Trees Can't See the Forest for Me
Equipment Heavy, Burden of Comprehension Heavier
Welcome to Alderpoint, Population: Cow
Tourist Trap Sucks Overall, Money Specifically
Housing Prices Soar, Historic Mansions Out of Reach
Biggest Sale Ever, All Articles Must Go!
Keebler Cousin Visit Goes Elfin' Great
I Got Nothing
I'm a Son of a Beach
On The Road Again
Slobbery Reporter Rehired Due to Family Pressure
New Reporter Fired for Excessive Slobbering
300th Article Finds Us Less Perplexed & Nearly Speechless
Old Friend Gravity You've Really Outdone Yourself
New Guy Consumes Entire Office Diaper Budget
Crying-Wiggling Beats Crying, Hold the Wiggle
Alternative to Self-Wetting Discovered
Mitts Return After Someone Scratched My Face
Man I Love a Silly Hat
What is The Patrix?
Where Oh Where Did My Baby Hair Go?
Interview Finds Baby Muttering, Wiggling, Reclusive
Jealousy Committee Appoints New Chairman
Third Haircut Lacks Fanfare of First
Brother Suffers Macular Generation
Yosemite Sam Got Candy On, In the Brain
Sprinkler Rematch Somewhat Worse Than Expected
Zero Birthday Lacks Balloons, Cake
Mama Exceeds 5-Foot Distance, Trauma Ensues
'New Boy' Moratorium Ratified Against Mama
Memos From Mama's Marsupial Tag-a-long
Hoping Love More Rugged Than Love-Me-Nots
Babbling Butler a Loud Puzzle
Vacuum Poked, Jabbed, Oddly Not Fixed
Don't Pat My Head, I'm Starving Here!
Pat on Head Fails to Pacify Brother
First (Mobile) Office Meeting Monopolized by Screaming
Baseball More Fun, Louder Than Remembered
Dude, I'm Tripping Out
New Reporter Smells Like Day Old Diaper Genie
New Guy Smaller Than Bag of Doritos
Have to Learn to Crawl Before I Fly
Lawn Sprinkler Curiously Enticing, Wickedly Overpowered
Is It Just Me Or Are There More Ads?
I'm No Alien, Stop Reporting Me
Work It Baby, You Look Great!
Waiting for Stork to Reclaim Noisy Baby
Got My Father's Eyes, My Brother's Nipples
Got $40,000 Brother, Forgot Warranty
Delicious Peanut Butter Ravages Consumers Faces
Birth Canals: Just Too Narrow
Hospital Boots Reporter for Improved Health
Stable Reporter Still Being Watched
Overworked Reporter Succumbs to Exhaustion
Call Me Jaundice... Billy-Rueben Jaundice
Rhinestone Cowboy Lacks Rhinestones, Cows
I am Kevin Spacey's Clone
Masked Thief Claims He's Easter Bunny
He IS Heavy, He's My Brother
Birth Announcement: Dominic Benjamin Edward, 7lbs 2ozs
Trout-Mouthed Toys Top Toddling Experience
Girl Almost as Cute as a Bucket
New Guy Misses First Deadline
Renegade Wall Accused in Home Invasion Assault
Womb Weather Report
Seattle Spring: Cold, Wet, Unseasonably Nice
Dam Tub for Ten Reviewed in Dry Dock
Resurrection Rabbit Masterminds Insulin Shock Wave
Bunny Misplaces Eggs, Candy, Chocolate
Fiddling With Blinds Forbidden, Fantastic
Retraction: Man Not Ready for Bed
Better Weather Kicks Off Porch-Camping Season
Dinosaur Belly Full of Toys, Journalists
Park Folk Respectively Hot, Creepy
Baseball Cap Mechanics Baffling
Road Rockier than Nutty Chocolate Ice Cream
Family Craves Bigger Buggy
'Incredible Growing Man' Ready For Bed
Non-Aquatic Fish Befuddle Pneumatic Oceanographer
Hospital Sickos Offset by Medi-Awesome Toys
False Alarm Still Alarming
I Traveled the Secret Road to Mordor
Graduated to Toddler
I'm Down With Up
Intercontinental Commuting Frantic, Boring
Unexplained Absence Explained
New Brother Not Just a Pygmy of My Imagination
Impromptu Model Shoot Goes Simply Faboo
Impromptu Model Shoot Goes Swimmingly
Chubby Is In the Cheeks of the Beholder
Requests Expedited Thanks to Speech
Despite Warning Child Plays with Phone, Calls China
Suspicion of Following Confirmed by Independent Audit
I Suspect I'm Being Followed
You Call This a Quarterly Report?
Learning Curve Steepens, Omniscience In Sight
Study: Doorknobs, Showerheads Impossibly High
Accessorizing Complicated by Language, Cultural Barriers
Yucky Food Discovered, Spinach
Lanterns Alone Make Trip Worthwhile
Asian Paparazzi Really Out of Hand
Zoo Offers Exotic Animals, Hey Look Goldfish!
Panda Bears Panda-riffic, Mangy
Zoo Commute a Bear Literally, Metaphorically
Plasti-Monkey Thrills Amusement Seekers
Running Man Interpretation Steals Dance Floor
Tepid Fusion Still Buggy
Brendan Alexander, International Man of Mischief
Making Time to Stop and Eat the Roses
Can Follow Simple Commands, Doesn't Mean I Will
Photographer Struggles with Zoom Feature
White Baby Black Market Softens
Guess I'm Dressed for All Weather
Chopsticks Assist Eating, Mischief
Enthralled by Jade Temple, Plush Chicken-Frog
Reading; It's All Chinese to Me
Experience Shanghai the American Way
Flight Promises Never to End
Plane Sandwich Plain Delicious
Airline Offers 'Peanuts for Pay' Program
Packing No Fun… Wait, Why Am I Packing?
Photo ID Troubling, Adorable
New Prenatal Fitness Standard, Tae Bo
Artist Interprets Family with Lifelike Realism
Is It Okay to Let Your Toddler Drink?
Doctors Report 'Brothers Should Cover Their Coughs'
FINALLY Spoke with New Reporter
Pre-Pre-Pre Driver's Ed Courses Helpful
Drums Could Benefit From Longer Leashes
I Flip for Spicy Food
I Store Neatly in Drawers, Overhead Bins
What's the Story with Body Pillows?
Naval Expedition Uncovers Tummy
I Love the Nightlife
What the Hell Does THIS Thing Do?
Piano Duet 3rd Worst in World History
Assistant Guitarist Unexpectedly Takes Center Stage
I'm Not Zero Anymore
Goofy-Faced Kid Keeps Copying Me
Stroll N' Bash Discouragingly Complicated
Barca Totally Loungable
Domestic Climbing Easy, Spelunking Not So Much
Rose by Any Other Name, Still Like 10 Feet Tall
Acid Jazz Effortless
Slept Through Matrix Reloaded… Again
Pantomime Made Easy Thanks to Glass
Karaoke: Now That's a Mouthful
One Step for Small Man, a Giant Sigh for Parentkind
I Claim This New Land; Dubbed Brendania
Mini Gas Station Much Too Small
Brother Got No Game, Can't Have Mine
Party Hat Makers Attempt Kid-Head Severage
World Temperatures Plummet
Overt Surprise Party Shocking
The Uncredible Quasi-Hulk
Orange Alert Tightens Security, Hood
Crowding Problem Despite Unchanged Pop. Density
I Didn't Order a 'New Year'
On the 2nd Day of Birthday MissLissa Gave to Me
On the First Day of Birthday the Waitress Gave to Me
Health Clubs Cross-Sell Supplements, Candy
Eligible Bachelor Seeks Friendship, Maybe More
Christmas in Review; from Huh to Wow
Prepping For Baby Brother; Wrassle Practice
Dinosaur Escapes Nursing Home, Terrorizes Children
Christmas Hat Fails to Seal Season
Who Made Me the Merry Taxman?
Uh Huh, Present. Why'm I Wearing Antlers?
Mom & Dad Cheap; Got Each Other Me
Christmas Cheer Written All Across My Face
B Lighting Ceremony Truly Electrifying
The Dark Ages Are Today
Modern MaJello Goes Under Cupboard
All I Want For Christmas Is Some Publicity
'War Hall' Portraits Oddly Unpatriotic
Star Zero Pound is on the Case
75% Stricken by Infectious Epidemic
Railing Safety Nearly Laughable
All Work & No Pills Makes Brendan a Dull Boy
Minimum Security Christmas Tree Brings Joy, Mischief
HR Clears New Reporter for Hire
News Staff Under 24-Hour Watch
Don't Call Me an Onion
This Mop Too Much, I Can No Fix
Absolutely No Help Around the House
McDonalds Introduces the 'French Fry'
Receding Gums Pointedly Ouchy
Economy's Down, I Got Yer Easy Money
Latest Fascination: Droopy Drawers
Electric Cars Really Got Some Zing
Mr. B's Holiday Cookies
Time to Eat, Then Think Christmas Trees
Infant Infantry Raises Questions
Hypno-Box™ Does the Trick
Kitchen Burglar/Vandal Caught Red-Handed
Slushy Harvest Season Begins
Mumblers Blossom at Articulation Camp
Facts About Pre-Sleep Mood Disorder
Finding Brendo
Brother Likely Replaced by Pod-Brother
3-D Abacus: Adds, Subtracts, Diagrams Sentences
My Newest Invention: Balance
Indoor Birdbath Off-Limits
Womb With a View Offers Unprecedented Accommodations
Dirty Shirty Quandry Pondered
Laxative-on-a-Rope Gives Me Indigestion, Bubbles
Will You Still Need Me, Will You Still Feed Me?
The Legend of Brendarello
Toy Immersion Program; Feet, Tummy, Hands-On
Crib vs. Bassinet
Golden Era Is Upon Us
Must We Photograph Everything?
Morning Pick-Me-Up; Purple Tee
Where It's At:Older Women
Bowling's Inseparable Bedfellow; Drinking
Roy's Feline Disaster Unraveled
I'll Admit It, I Can't Cook
Okay, Now I'm a Chicken... More Candy?
Editor Jr. Seeks Jr. Editor
I Had the Weirdest Dream. . .
Skunk Like Me; Candy for Free
Toddler Voc-Tech Training Plumb Amazing
Hatified Baby Dehats, Rehats Brother
Am I Not Speaking Clearly?
What Gives with the Freaky Décor?
Simply Can't 'Walk Towards the Light'
Ice Age Warning Issued
Miracle Growth Cream Hokey, Miraculous
Meteorologism Tongue Twister, Mind Boggler
Delectable Baby Stew
Designer Pillows Making Head Lines
Higher Education Out of Reach
Drinking and Driving Overrated
Technical Problemos El Resolved-o
Brother Total Jet Set Showoff
Technical Difficulties, Dagnabit, Please Stand By
Childhood Reflection 'Closer Than May Appear'
News: A Tiresome Endeavor
Hell Hath No Fury Like Paperwork
Bodyguard Absurdly Dedicated
Reporter Oversleeps Deadline
Journalist Flattered, Called 'Baby'
Meditative Pontifications Had in Baby Swing
Employee Fitness Plan Unrivaled, Unbridled
Child Star Search Full of Old People
Improper Car Seat Use is Awesome!
Seafood Still Too Rubbery
Babies-To-Go Franchises Closed by FTC
Shopping w/o Protective Gear A-Okay
Doctor Trip Not My Idea, I'm Not Tripping
Crisis Ensues, (Not 'Just Tired'!)
Look Who's Talking Fo' Real, Lynnwood not Hollywood
Roll Out WHAT Barrel?
Newest Facial Treatment: Carrot Cake
I Fear I'm Becoming a Pirate
Intestinal Connect Four Unwise, Unrecommended
White Haired Lady Stop Licking Me
Stand for Justice, Couches or Chairs
Should My Head BE This Big?
Can I Talk to Whoever's in Charge of Wardrobe?
Stonehenge Pretty Underwhelming
I Am in Jail, Pig Pen
I Dreamt I Ate in China
Dragon Season Nearly Upon Us
Spoon-Feeder Fired for Gross Incompetence
Review: Enfamil vs. Similac
Formula vs. Gruel/Mush
Infant Stunt Training Begins
Easy Breezy Six-Pack Tummy
Age Discrimination Crippling Toddler Industry
More Shots, Am I Terminal or Something?
Review: My Fingers vs. Your Fingers
Force Field Protects Local Homes
Mouth Popping Craft Mastered
I Know I'm God's Gift to Women, But Is the Bag Necessary?
Review: Family Walking Tutors Quite Good
Plastic Muncher Gets Free Will
Media Trend; Strap-On Journalism
Crush Probably Unreciprocated
Skin Lotion a Total Scam
Being 'On Grass' Disappointing
Brother's Augmentation Totally Unnecessary
Soy Milk Ain't Milk
Woman 160x My Age Alleges Great-Grandma Status
Older Brother “Total Cokehead, Probably”
Loch Ness Monster Discovered
Long Lost Twin Found at Day Spa
Hippy Days Are Over
Male Pattern Baldness Myths Dispelled
Does This Hat Make Me Look Gay?
Confounded Keys Won't Open a Darn Thing
'Too Cute For My Own Good,' Can Ya Help a Baby Out?
I May Be Small Boy; Airplane
Ring of Neck Thieves Strikes the Pacific NW
Paparazzi Getting Tiresome
Review: Mock Quadriplegia vs. Crawling
Warming Trend Doubles Earth's Temperature
'Sitting Up' Easier Than Ever
Review: Seafood Kinda Rubbery
Please Stop Asking If I'm A Girl
Relieved 'Both Teeth' Finally In
Drinking Myself to Sleep 'Not a Problem'
Vocabulary Expands (Almost) Immeasurably
Zoo Ruse Transparent
I Am Not a Stuffed Animal
Older Chicks Have Hypnotizing Mammaries
Gerber Invents Food Not Requiring a Nipple
Typing Mystery Unraveled
Review: Teething Jelly Makes Bwuh Mugga Phwuh
Additional Limbs Discovered
What The Heck Is All This Noise About?
Review: Natural vs. Formula


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