Ever joyous, even in the labors of his indenturehood. |
Once upon a time there was a tiny young man named Brendarello. His family was bitterly jealous of his charm and dashing good looks. He was forced into servitude in his own home yet he remained ever gentle and kind. With every dawn he was hopeful his dreams would someday come true.
One day the fair princess of the land invited all the eligible young men to the most lavish ball the town had ever yet seen. Brendarello asked if he was invited too on account of his unrivaled infantile eligibility. Wicked half brother and Dad both wanted to horde the precious ladies of the ball for their own, but fair Brendarello knew he was allowed to attend. He would have his chance to meet Princess Charmingrella and woo her with his pungent suave-ioso. That is of course if he finished his chores.
Needless to say, it didn't happen. For young Brendarello is not about doing chores and keeping things tidy. He's about bottles, television and making an unprecedented mess. When the night of the ball came, the chores hadn't even been touched, the house was a disaster, and what little he knew of the stables hadn't been cleaned a lick.
Sadly, as his dad and brother were fancified to the nines and off to the ball, Brendarello was stuck home to tend the goldfish and clean out the refrigerator. Just when hope neared the gates of abandon, his fairy god-monkey appeared on the window sill. "Brendarello, why aren't you at the ball?"
"Well here's the deal, freaky, kooky, god-monkey dude," replied the young scrubster, "got no fancy clothes, got no fancy carriage, kind of tired, not really sure I want to meet that Princess anyhow. Who knows, maybe she's not really all that."
The fairy god-monkey contemplated his predictable-ment and with a wild flick of his magic wand he created a fantastic whirl of wind and noise. Glitter sparkled from all around. Mr. God-Monkey unwittingly smacked a vase, two collectible Franklin Mint plates and a mostly-full urn all of which shattered upon the floor.
When the chaos subsided the youngster was no longer in his tattered rags of moppery but a fine tweed suit and fashionable bowler hat. His tube socks had been transformed into Blues Clues slippers, and his leftover jack-o-lantern into a fine horseless carriage. "Now you can go to the ball, young friend," said the articulate maqack.
"The hour is late," said the little B, "and I still have to brush my teeth. Would it be too much to ask for you to bring her here instead? Besides, at midnight my carriage is going to turn back into pumpkin mush, you know how soft pumpkins get after October, and we're well into November."
Being a fair fairy-god monkey, he understood Brendarello's wishes and the half-life of gourds. Again he whipped his magic wand wildly about click-clicking on the ceiling fan and knocking over the table lamp. Suddenly his unprecedented spellcasting ended as he knocked himself squarely in the head. Within moments a knock fell upon the door. There in glimmering silk, lace, and vinyl stood the most elegant figure he'd ever seen.
"You are the fairest lad in the land, young Brendarello. I wish to have a foxtrot while the night is still young," spoke the angelic maiden.
"Yeah, here's the thing," replied Brendarello, "It's really great that you could come all the way out here. And I really do like dancing, don't get me wrong. It's just that I've got all this neat stuff here and I think I'm just going to chill with the monkey until midnight when it all goes away."
Clearly confused, she asked, "Don't you wish to be in the company of a Princess?"
Brendarello answered, "You're really sweet and I'm sure you're a really nice girl. It's just that I don't really know you that well and the place is kind of a mess, also you aren't so much my type, not that I have a type, but I don't think you're it. I'm sure there's someone out there for you, really I mean that. It's just that I really don't see it working out between us, you know? We can still be friends and stuff, I just don't want to create any weirdness, you know, like if we ever broke up."
Stunned, the young lady turned and walked back into the night. Her hopes unquestionably dashed on the rocky shores of infatuation. Brendarello, meantime, had tea and cookies with his monkey, and there was happiness throughout the land.
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