This is how I pointed to my cool, cool cake. Pay no mind to which finger I used, I was too excited to be couth. |
The parents, God bless 'em, do their best to make our birthdays as special as popsicle even if we don't get fudg-ickles for such occasions. We're a picky lot, even I can admit that, but it's no detriment to us since we earn it with our mass media diligence. I'm a fickle mickle, but I make up for it in quantity.
So when it comes to making a birthday special, the parental handler folk bend over uncomfortably backwards to make us happy as heck. Baby D got a Buzz Lightyear cake for his, so why should I be denied my biggest desire for my birthday?
Never you mind that Power Rangers, though still in straight-to-video release, are still "alive and well" though I use quotation fingers with expressions most exaggerated as if to fully, wholly, totally point out that even I know it's a franchise that missed retro and went straight to garbage.
I know that. That's not the point. The point is I love the Power Rangers, and I wanted it slopped all over my birthday cake even though no such reasonable possibility existed.
Lucky for me I've got this Daddy fellow wrapped around my finger, and he's quite the sucker when it comes to making me, or even any number of my brothers, as happy as (in)humanly possible… popsicle? Sounds yummy!
We had a bit of a problem since no cakes to my taste exist in the tri-county area. It's a small problem right there on account of how sincerely I can command my elders to buckle to the whim of my trembling lower lip. That wasn't the problem, though the problem was indeed to soon follow.
I managed to muster my finagly way to convince the Daddy-Man to mock me up as sharp as he did for Dominic on his birthday. Not one to be outdone presently by his own past self, the present day Daddy-Man, he's a real competitor today to himself of yesterday, at least in terms of everything but weight (and income… and hair-having… and general nimbleness… but now I'm being nitpicky*).
Daddy-Man, as faithful and diligent as he can be bothered to be, did indeed make me up as a gaggle of Power Rangers (against my will since I had less idea what was going on than I do for all this Perplexing Whatchamahoopajoob business.) I let the pictures be taken, and I soon saw the beauty that could be my me-self in assorted Power Ranger form. I was as giddy as myself shortly before a birthday, which makes sense on account of the circumstances and all.
My staff had the photo uploaded to Walgreen's, an old favorite of ours for printing. Figured we'd throw down the $2 to make that magic happen so we could give the picture to the photo-cake lady to slather that gorgeousness all over my cake.
Above - This is the actual cake. Pretty sweet, I swear to you, and I know because I got to eat it. Yummy!
Turns out they wouldn't touch the picture. Some guy said it was copyright infringement, even though we explained it wasn't. He said it was illegal, we said it was constitutionally mandatory, he said it was a violation of the law and we tried to explain the whole doctrine of fair use as it wraps into that pesky constitution thingy, but it was a clerk with a grudge earning $6 an hour, so whatcha gonna do?
We just had them printed at Fred Meyer, a totally new deal for us, only to find that A) it cost half as much, and, B) the clerk who printed them commented on how clever our utilization of fair use appropriation was… What a stud. That guy at the 132nd S. Fred Meyer photo lab is a total stud (and I don't just say that because he let me pay for my trading cards with minimal understanding of what cash actually is.)
In the end -- and you should sigh a heavy gasp of relief right here -- at least on account of how stupidly long this article got while I was too busy paying attention to my own personal side-rants, I got my killer cake, and I had my amazing Power Ranger birthday.
You can doubt me if you like, but it won't do you any good. I got the cake and that's all I need, baby.
* I can get away with being nitpicky, since I'm way more ambulatory than he is, what with his gigantigirth and all that ankle damage he still endures. It's not a big deal, at least not for me. No, all that serves me quite well.
Above - This is the full picture we used to make the cake picture, and you have to admit, I look pretty good, even times a bunch. Best thing is that the one on the far right was originally the girl Power Ranger (she wears pink), but we changed her outfit from pink to like orangish-yellow, so now it's a boy costume. Click here to see this image in full-resolution.
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