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approved contributor


Eligible Bachelor Seeks Friendship, Maybe More
Posted by Brendan on Sunday, December 28 @ 02:00:00 PST

Hello ladies, I look forward to hearing from you.

Single white male, highly eligible, 96 dog months of age, seeks fun, intelligent girl with strong communication skills and pretty hair.


I'm 2'5" and athletic, though I am trying to trim down a bit. I've been told I have a baby face but that I wear it well. I have light brown hair, blue eyes, six teeth and gopher cheeks. My hair is what you might call thin or thinning, but I'm definitely not bald. My interests include percussion, mastication, napping and hang gliding.

I don't smoke, drink or do drugs, and expect the same from my lady. I don't have any children and don't plan to for at least a little while. I have had all my shots and am working on becoming house broken.

I'm outgoing and love to meet new people. I am very secure and independent with many hobbies and goals. I do not drive, and I still live with my parents. I am also unemployed, or rather, "managing my portfolio," so hopefully that's not a big deal.

I am well traveled and enjoy traveling, sometimes going many miles.

My ideal lady will be older than me, sharing, caring, kind, articulate and a poor judge of character. She should enjoy fine cinema such as Wizard of Oz, Looney Toons and the musical episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. The ability to laugh and make me laugh is a must, so she should be comfortable making silly noises around me, even in public.

I do not know my phone number, so try dialing at random until you get me. College degree or dowry a plus. No psychos.




(This article available for syndication)


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