For decades amusement park goers were subjected to the dull, humdrum entertainment of bland attractions like Six Flags, Universal Studios, Euro-Disney and cable television. Technology has really outdone itself this time as my friend the plasti-monkey can attest.
It's an amazing device, this plasti-monkey ride. You merely climb aboard and pop in a few coins from your petty cash box and the adventure begins. Like any sweet symphony it starts easy and just gets better from there.
Once underway it lets loose with a horrendous melody designed to excite and annoy. A tired and warbley monkey voice greets you with exclamations of joy as can only be uttered by a lesser primate. You may think this introduction is great, but just wait for what comes next.
The music builds a bit and the entire getup begins a herky-jerky gallop. It's startling arhythmia treads the uncommon ground between comfort and nausea stopping only briefly in the land of terror.
About the time you've had enough he goes into this swirly up-and-down motion like a carousel. The music gets louder and his chants of fun become feverish. Everything is disorienting and the world gets blurry.
police it all slows to a saunter, the voice distorts down octave after octave and eventually stops then, with a sigh, it comes to rest right back where the madness began.
I tell you, if I knew a word in English that meant "again" that would have been my moment to demand it.
Printer Friendly Page
Send to a Friend
