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Reporter Oversleeps Deadline
Posted by Brendan on Tuesday, October 07 @ 04:00:00 PDT

You can see it on my face, where an article should be I have only the realization there is none. Perplexing I say.

Woke up this morning in a tizzy. A discombooberated tizzy as the photo may indicate. My staff photographer did his job, but for once I had not done mine.


The explicit instruction I gave him was "no matter what happens, you get the photos in for the story." A couple snaps while I was sleeping (which I'm told were challenging shots on account of how dark it was) and two more when I woke up. Sheesh, note to self, always hire people slightly less competent than myself. Keeps mutiny to a minimum.

I've taken a Saturday, Sunday, or both off in the past, but a Tuesday? That's prime news time, babies and baby-friendly big people. I'm just not prepared to let you all down like that.

I'm not one to make excuses for my actions, but here goes:

  • I'm going through some continuing education (with a personal tutor, as to save time) which has cut into my schedule.

  • I've been participating in some company sponsored fitness and relaxation programs. You know the deal, all work and no play makes Brendan a dull boy. That too has been dipping into my already precious supply of time.

  • Like most people, I'm sure, I simply must sleep 15-hours a day. Admit it, you'd like to do it too. Who's with me here? Just think what damage a sleep schedule like mine does to a 24-hour day. Now, if only I could convince someone to give me some longer days, we might have some more articles… think about that.

  • Yesterday, it completely slipped my mind that I'm supposed to be a journalist. With that in mind, it don't matter how much time you've got to do the job, you just ain't gonna get around to it.

    This morning, in a panic, I looked through the news roster to find zero completed articles, 20 suggested headlines with little else written, and three fully prepared photos with no article so much as in mind for them. Clearly I know how to run a newsroom. You just get a bunch of material and hodge-podge it together. With standards like that it's a little embarrassing that there's nothing fit to print. Which is why it is with great pride that I bring you this unprecedented breaking news, the top story of the day: I missed my deadline.


    Above: While my photographer worked, I slacked. This is NOT me writing. This photo was HEAVILY worked over to make night look like day.
    Below:Fresh awake, confused and frustrated upon my realization. This is me motivated... with bad morning hair.




    (This article available for syndication)


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