When the jealousy committee was first founded about a year and a half ago, brother Patrick adeptly headed it up. It made sense since he was also the only member and considering his head draws so much attention, even from strangers.
Times made him jaded and jealousy has been his way of life for so long that, frankly, he’s lost his edge. When the newborn decided to head out and butt in to our family I joined in the committee, got my member card and all. Before Dominic, I was always the jealousee not the jealousor so I didn’t know how it all worked. Now that I’m on the outside looking in, I see we need some new blood.
To keep the committee strong I suggested a new regime to reign and revitalize. I’m new to this jealousy thing and I’m feeling pretty passionate about it. I see Hey Mama holding the new guy and my blood just boils. I see Mr. Daddy-O consoling him and it hurts my feelings, makes me feel dethroned and busted down to private. Without a committee how can I properly be jealous? Patrick saw my point and seconded my nomination. We put it to a vote and my un-opposed run for chair was passed unanimously.
I’m super excited about my new position of power and authority. I vow to my jealous fellows to be true to my needs, to throw fits, cry and otherwise carry on when biased behavior’s bestowed upon the baby. Hey man, I’ve got the lungs for it and I’m ready to make my voice heard on this sort of justice.
Jealousy Committee Mach-II has arrived. Our numbers have doubled and we’re ready to demand 100% attention for each of us. We haven’t figured out the math on it entirely, but that’s not our problem. You lap that kid, prepare to lap all. If you bring coddle and comfort for him, bring enough for the whole class. And, if you feed him you’d better have tatertots and ketchup waitin’ on the table. We’ve got strength in our numbers. Now, do you got our candy?