Where Oh Where Did My Baby Hair Go?

Oh where oh where can it be? I’m not all full of myself or think I’m the cutest boy on the block. In fact I’ve never even looked in a mirror but I still knew something was wrong when I reached up to straighten my fine, dark locks; they were missing.

Holy schneikies, I`m pert near bald people!
Holy schneikies, I`m pert near bald people!

I’m looking at some pictures from when I was younger and what little focusing I can do really takes me back. I had a full head of hair back then and now it’s all but gone. Sure I’ve got the Mohawk on top and some scraggles around the back but I know I’ve lost plenty.

Where did it go? Is this that male pattern baldness thing Brendan wrote about last year or has Patrick been sneaking in to shave my sleeping head to steal the hair for his own? It’s not like I’m a girl or anything who can slap a bow in it and call it cute. I’m a boy and this isn’t pretty stuff here.

I guess it’s just my raging boy hormones making me testy, decisive and bald. Maybe I’ll order some of that spray-on stuff Mr. TV talks about all the time, that’s probly my best bet for getting back my youthful confidence and security. Also, if I heard right, operators are standing by.

 

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